You Are The Reason

18

Kerry

I snuggled deeper into my pillow and sighed in content when it stroked my hair. This sleep was better than the sleep I has been getting recently. My warm pillow was beyond warm. I loved the warmth.

Someone chuckled deeply. The sound was familiar but my drowsy state wouldn't let me figure out who he was. I wrapped my arms around the pillow and hugged it tightly.

I dreamt that Noah kissed me. I've never dreamt of such a thing before. He stole my first kiss without telling me and I responded without complaining. I loved his warm body pressing against my torso. His hands never mingled anywhere else but it remained gentle on my face. The dream had me spinning around in circles, it had me weak in the bones leaving me content. How could I dream of Noah kissing me? That's a little too much for me to ask for.

God forgive me for dreaming such a thing. I think I'm really losing myself in him. The adoration I hold for him is five times bigger than every emotion now. He could leave me if he wanted to but I would never be able to pick up the broken pieces again. I'd be crushed.

I let go of the pillow and turn on my back so I'm facing the ceiling, eyes closed. Something moves beside me and then I feel something heavy being placed on my stomach. The warmth once again spreads through me, awakening all the tingles.

The sunlight pierces my eyelids so I scrunch them. I don't feel like opening them yet. I wanted to be selfish and I wanted to keep thinking about that kiss. My eyes relaxed when the sun moved away.

I open them reluctantly.

The first thing I see is Noah. He is leaning up on me, a elbow supporting his head and his arm around my waist. He has that look in his eyes, that emotion that I have gotten used to. This guy could stab me with a knife and I would still not blame him for it.

"Why can't I stop dreaming about you?" I sighed. "Go away dream Noah."

He chuckles making me scowl.

"Look, I need to get up. I have to go and make breakfast. Noah will soon wake up so can you please do me a favour and disappear. I don't want the original Noah to think that I'm hallucinating now which I am."

Suddenly, he bursts out laughing. My scowl deepens as I stare at him. What did I say funny? I was being serious.

"Kerry, I am the original Noah." He says after controlling himself.

"No, Noah must come in a few seconds now if I don't wake up. He knows my routines. Go away now."

He grins.

"What?"

"You're cute when you get like this."

I sighed. "This isn't the time. You should go. Noah will think I'm crazy and I do care about what he thinks of me."

He tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear and I shivered.

"Noah loves everything about you. He loves your imperfections to your perfections. He loves you."

"H-he says that alot."

"Yeah he does. Did you dream about him?"

"It was just a dream, why do you care?"

"Tell me and I'll tell you why I care."

I sighed.

"I had a dream that we... I... that we... we kissed." I whispered the last part and averted my eyes from him. "He stole my first kiss but I don't regret it at all. But that can't be because it was a dream."

"What if it wasn't a dream?" He leaned further in. "And he allowed you to be his first kiss."

"You're not even him, how would I know if you're telling the truth."

"Because-" he leans in and his face is only inches apart now. "Noah-" our noses graze lightly and I shiver from the feel of it. "Will prove you that he is right here and you're not dreaming at all." He whispers.

The air in my lungs collide with the emotions I feel as his lips merge with mine. The kiss feels soft, gentle, passionate. I return it back with the same emotions. He smiles against my lips and kisses me back.

The kiss is so real. I wasn't dreaming then. We really did kiss. I kissed him. I kissed the man who loves me wholeheartedly. I can't believe this. I pull away, my face turning red.

"I... it wasn't a dream?"

"Would I let our first kiss be a dream? No. You weren't dreaming. I kissed you and you kissed me back, mi amor. You asked me to stay the night and I couldn't deny." His expression then changes. "Did you want it to be just a dream?"

I hate the sadness on his face. The truth is I wanted it to be more than a dream. Confidence boosted in me as I leaned up and captured his lips with mine.

Our third kiss.

Noah wrapped his arms around me and leaned down, his weight didn't crush me because he supported it with his elbows. I got lost in his kisses.

When we pulled apart, he landed a kiss on my cheek and smiled at me. A little of the sadness returned again though.

"Why are you sad?" I was afraid that it was because of me.

"Its because I don't know if I'll ever get the chance to be with you like this after what happens today. I wanna be with you but I'll leave the choices for you to make."

"Noah, don't say that."

"You wouldn't be saying that when you see me." He said sadly.

"It can't be that worse."

"It is worse."

I wrap my hands around his neck. "You're not supposed to leave me. I'm finally realizing everything I feel about you. You can't just leave me in the middle and crush my feelings, Noah. I want to spend alot of time with you. I wanna be with you." I said sincerely.

"Fuck," I flinched. "I'm gonna die if I get rejected."

His eyes flashed golden and my eyes widened a fraction.

"Your eyes..."

"Its time now. I have to show you, I can't wait any longer."

"Noah..."

"Come with me, mi amor."

...

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