NICKNAMES [1], jj maybank

CHAPTER 3

THE BOAT RIDE TO LAND felt like a whole lifetime between my anxiety and the annoyed glances from JJ. As soon as we get back to the Chateau, John B and I hopped in the Twinkie.

    I lay my head against the window as my head slightly hits it every so often. "I'm sure he's fine. He's Adrien. He might just be being dramatic," John B has his eyes on the road, gripping the steering wheel.

What he said doesn't annoy me because it is a completely possible thing. Adrien's lack of attention at home makes his crave any attention—negative or positive.

"You're right but he is just so naive and he thinks because he sells weed that he's like—smarter than me," I complain.

    "Kinda like JJ." John B and I look at each other and I shuffle in my seat to get closer to the window. "JJ isn't naive, if anything he is too aware of the damage around us," The words leave my mouth barely above a whisper but he still hears it. A loud sigh leaves John B's mouth.

"Listen, just tell JJ."

  I slowly lift my head off the window and turn to John B, "Tell him what exactly?"

   My eyebrow is raised and my arms are crossed over my chest. He looks at me for a second and then smiles as he went back to the road, "Holy shit, you're both oblivious to each other it's so annoying." He starts tapping the steering wheel to the sound of the music in the back but I still look at him confused.

"What exactly are we oblivious to?"

"Your feelings. For each other."

    I start coughing loudly at him and hold my chest in surprise. JJ is cute but he would never like me. I got that out of my head a long time ago and moved on. Now that John B said it the thoughts from 9th grade were suddenly back.

   The ones where I looked at my best friend's lips a little too long that one time and I had to look away because his talking stage at the time was on her way to 'give me the sucky sucky'....his words not mine. Obviously.

    "What are you on about?" My hand still on my chest and my voice raspy. "You like him. He likes you. Y'know, the others and I decided you guys are exempt from the no Pogue on Pogue macking."

    "I don't like him, JB, and even if I did there's no chance he'd like me."

    My head rests against the back of the car seat as he  continues to the hospital. People in town know the van and some people fuck with it but the Kooks and their judgmental stares always annoy me. I feel like this sounds bad but at times I forget I'm technically a 'Kook'.

    I was shamed and bullied by them when I was on The Cut. When I moved into the big brick house down the street from their big houses, nothing changed. The only one I've ever felt comfortable with is Sarah.

   Dressing somewhat dark and having different phases is looked down upon by Kooks.

   If you aren't a Vineyard Vines member and wear a seashell necklace— you are considered weird so God forbid I have a piercing or two.

   Sarah though, she always compliments me. She's  jealous of my piercings and always says she wants one but is scared of the pain.

   Same with Kie, JJ, JB and Pope. There was never a time where I didn't feel accepted by them even with my lack of beach clothes or bandanas.

"Goth chicks are hot"

"I'm not goth JJ."

"Oh."