NICKNAMES [1], jj maybank

CHAPTER 21

THE REST OF THE weekend I spend time with Blake. I told him everything and I mean everything. What Weston did and how JJ handled it and what we argued about. I told him about Adrien and me beating his ass and him putting a gun to JJ and I's chest. I even told him that I'm—in love with JJ.

He wasn't surprised, which scares me. At first I didn't want to be the middle child. I think I have a superiority complex when it comes to being the oldest kid. Technically, I am in my house still but it feels nice having an actual older brother. John B and Pope are my brother's of course but it just feels—different with Blake?

Now I'm in class—the one with Dean, except he switched out last week. It makes me chuckle to look at his empty seat in front of me.

The teacher is going on about whatever. I blanked out a while ago. JJ as per usual is sitting next to me messing with Pope. Kie isn't here today and it worries me. Maybe there's something deeper going on that she can't explain to us just yet. What if she kills herself? Nah—right? My head is resting on my hand as I zone out waiting for class to end. "Ow—" I feel a tug on my hair and turn to see John B smiling at me, "Why?"

He shrugs his shoulders and I go to turn back around but he stops me, "Wanna come back to The Chateau or will you be with your darling brother later?"

I roll my eyes and whisper back, "Yeah—I want passenger seat though." A frown forms on John B's face, "Why don't you just talk to him? Are you really still mad because he was trying to protect you? Me or Pope would've done the same and you know it."

I stare into his eyes I wish I could tell him the reason I once again can't face JJ but all that comes to my head is realizing I never stopped Vanessa and JJ, "Wait—did he take her back to the house? Please tell me no." He opens up his mouth and tilts his head. No, no, he did take her back to The Chateau!

"Would you like me to tell you no for your own sanity?" I glance at JJ who is throwing paper at Pope. "Did they—fuck?" I whisper the last part so quiet I'm surprised JB can hear it. He leans closer to me, "I have no idea. She was gone by the time we got there but I saw her go in."

I let out a defeated sigh and let my head hang. The bell rings through the school and everyone grabs their bags. I take a second to get up. "Can you not throw paper at me while I do my work, jackass?" Pope tells JJ as we step into the hallway. "You're so smart you don't need notes, Pope! Me annoying you keeps me entertained."

"You must be entertained all the time then." The three of us giggle at Pope's comment but JJ is not amused. He mocks Pope's comment multiple times.

I feel so drained but somehow still—fine? Being with Blake all weekend helped. He's really smart and patient. Patience is something I lack and it's nice to have someone who actually has it. It slows me down a bit.

   The rest of the day feels the same except the absence of Kie drains me a bit more. Despite her lack of communication with us, I miss her and I'm worried. I know the others feel the same but we have no idea what to do.

"You practically bounced the ball off her head, JJ!" John B and JJ laugh. "Well, maybe she should've been paying attention during volleyball, it's a dangerous sport."

We hop into the van and I get in the passenger seat like I asked to before. JJ and Pope hop in the back. JJ hasn't said a word to me—I think he's scared that if he does I'll run away again. He just keeps sending worried looks. I'm quieter than normal and I know that. I don't have the energy to blurt out a sarcastic comment or get bored and try to do a handstand.

About 6 months ago

"Sam—just because you're flexible doesn't mean you can do a handstand."