NICKNAMES [1], jj maybank

CHAPTER 19

  AFTER THAT NIGHT, JJ really attached himself to me. More than usual but I'm not complaining.

  He was at my house everyday after school and him sleeping over became more common at my place rather than John B's. It's Wednesday when we're in my room for the 3rd day in a row after school. We all texted Kie but to no avail, she ghosted us. We even knocked on her door but her mom said she's been busy and not home. What hurt the most was that she moved seats in each class to sit with other people.

Dean told people he lied and basically lost all his new nice kid points. Adrien is Adrien, running his mouth and making slick comments during gym that earns him a middle finger or getting verbally cursed at. Of course, I'm still being bothered about it.

  Asking if a nerd can fuck for the past three days has been—interesting.

  I've texted Blake and we've actually been having a conversation back and forth and he definitely didn't get his personality from Weston. He keeps asking me to meet up to talk but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm still so sick over the fact that I have no idea what I did to be hurt by someone who was supposed to love me for so long. There's more scars on my brain rather than my body but it sometimes hurts to look at a spot where I know a bruise once laid.

"You almost done with your work?" JJ whines. "J—for the last time, yes. Maybe you should start it." The one class I care about is English but of course, JJ doesn't. He dramatically flops onto my legs. "Stop bein' a child," I boop his nose with a pencil which makes him scrunch up his nose. "Princess—" the name became so familiar at this point I don't even flinch at it,"—I want to sit at the dock and smoke."

"So do I but this is one subject I'm good in so fuck off, in the most loving way," I grab at his hair and run my hands through it. Another thing is the morning after on Sunday, JJ and I woke up holding hands and thankfully the others didn't see but it made me jump when I woke up before him. I think because of this we just got more comfortable with being more touchy than usual. Neither one of us has a complaint it seems.

"I like when you play with my hair," He closes his eyes and my heart swells at how content he looks.

  "Really?" The word is almost airy as it nervously leaves my mouth. "My—uh—mom, she used to do it when things got bad," My hand stops at what he's saying but he keeps going,"I really wonder sometimes why she didn't take me. What was so bad about me that I deserved—this," His voice cracks and his eyes open with tears beginning. I wait a few seconds before it seems he's not going to speak again, "You don't deserve it, J. Please know that, okay?" I start running my hand through his hair which calms him a bit.

  JJ turns on his side and knocks my notebook out of my hands,"Hey—JJ—" Before I can properly yell at him he wraps his arms around my stomach.

  My arms are raised above my head. I have no idea what to do with them. I've never been in this situation before where someone was just in my lap, hugging me. My hand slowly goes down and back to his hair. I sigh at my notebook next to me on the floor. There's no way I'll be able to focus on my work now. "JJ?"

"Sunshine?"

"You wanna go smoke on the dock?"

He immediately picks his head up and wipes the tears that had fallen down his cheeks, "Yes! Get up woman, let's go!" He jumps up and grabs my wrist to pull me up. I stubble on my own feet. "Oh—blondie! Calm down," He opens the bedroom door and continues dragging me but to be fair, I'm not really stopping him. He does stop himself at the top of the stairs. "You gonna throw me down there?" I ask. JJ looks like he's actually calculating if he would kill me. "How long do you think the fall is—"