Crossing The Line (Seulrene)

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

Seulgi guided Joohyun to the other side of the lake and deep inside the forest, far from the path that visitors walked on. She helped her down a series of rocks and there, behind trees and bushes, was what Seulgi called her secret place. A small cascade discharged itself in a body of water alike a hot spring but what Joohyun was more amazed of were the shades of purple pleasing her eyes, as if the flowers wanted to enchant her and attract her here forever. Of course, purple was only one of many colors gracing her eyes but it was what struck Joohyun first and the other colors supplemented it perfectly.

Seulgi arranged a large blanket she had carried in her sling bag on the grass and sat on it, gesturing charmingly at Joohyun to come join her. She hesitantly rested on the other end of it, leaving a considerable gap between them. They stayed in silence, listening to the water flow in front of them for a moment.

« I wasn't sure you were going to come » Seulgi spoke softly, turning her head to look at Joohyun who had her knees against her chest and her arms wrapped around them. She appeared nervous but she was relatively calm compared to when she had been at her house.

« I didn't know if I was going to come either » She confessed, keeping her gaze on the scenery.

« You can talk to me, you know? » The taller girl invited her and she sighed.

« How am I supposed to do that when I don't even know what I'm thinking or feeling? » She turned toward Seulgi this time.

« Can I make a suggestion? » Seulgi inquired after a moment. Joohyun allowed her to go on with a nod and Seulgi took a deep inhale, hoping she wouldn't offend nor anger her « You probably grew up around a family or even under a religion that told you being gay was wrong, or all of the above, but now you start to feel something that comes in contraction with all this education, these beliefs. Am I close? » She asked, seeing that it made Joohyun tick.

The smaller one averted her gaze, staring ahead « Is it not wrong? » She questioned in a small voice.

« No, it's not » Seulgi looked at her with profound sympathy « But I'm kind of biased since I'm gay » She cracked a joke which managed to make Joohyun smile despite the toughness of the conversation.

« I've always wondered » She turned to Seulgi again « Sooyoung's parents are going to the same church as my parents and they seem to be fine with her despite...well...Why didn't they try to fix her?»

« Joohyun, you can't fix something that isn't broken. They had a hard time accepting it at first when she presented them Seugwan but doesn't the Bible say you should love everyone? »

« Yeah, but what about 'No man should lie next to another man'? » Joohyun countered, brows knitted.

« Apparently, this part was about pedophilia and not homosexuality and it's been modified over time but I'm not religious so I don't really know for sure » Seulgi shrugged. Joohyun nodded, she will have to check that on the internet. She stared back at the waterfall in front of her, questions running inside her mind.

« How did you realize it? » She put her eyes back on the other girl.

« It was a long time ago » Seulgi reminisced « I grew up with Seungwan. We've known each other since kindergarten, and we both realized it as time went by and talked about it together. It wasn't as scary since I wasn't alone during it all and we came out together.... »

« You were a couple? » Joohyun let out shocked.

« No, no » Seulgi chuckled. It was very weird to her that she suggested that about her best friend and her. They had never seen each other that way. Seulgi would consider Seungwan her soulmate, but a best friend soulmate and nothing else « We gathered our parents and came out at the same time » She clarified.