Imperfectly Perfect [Chaelisa]

thirty two

Lisa bounces her leg as she keeps glancing towards the double doors her parents had just gone through with a doctor, absolutely terrified, because she knows that when they come back out, there's a 50% chance that they'll be bearing bad news, and she has no idea how she'd handle that.

Every little thing starts to annoy her, the way the teenage boy a few rows down from them is tapping against the arm of his chair, the way the receptionist answers her phone with a monotone hello. Even the way Chaeyoung is staring at her.

"Chaeyoung, can you stop staring at me, please?" Lisa snaps, feeling incredibly guilty when her girlfriend looks down at her feet and seems to deflate. "No- sorry, I didn't mean to snap, I'm just- really stressed out right now."

Chaeyoung keeps her gaze trained to her floor. "I'm sorry. I don't know how to make you feel better and- um, I feel kind of useless right now."

"No, Rosie, you being here is enough," Lisa takes hold of her girlfriend's hand and rests her head on her shoulder. "Just hold me for a while? I don't know how- I'm so scared, Rosie."

"It's okay," Chaeyoung rubs against her leg with her free hand, "Jules will be okay. I know it, and I have a 5.0 GPA, so you should listen to me."

"You can't possibly know that Jules will be okay," Lisa lets out a long sigh, "nobody can. I just hope that whatever powerful force that's out there won't take my little sister from me."

Chaeyoung plays with Lisa's fingers. "I don't want to- uh, get your hopes up. But I think Jules will be okay, because she's really tough."

"Rosie, look at me," Lisa says, not liking the way Chaeyoung has her head ducked down and is staring at the floor as if it's the most interesting thing in the room. Once her girlfriend has looked up, her gaze trained on Lisa's neck, the younger girl continues. "You're allowed to look at me all you want. I'm sorry for snapping at you before. You're here to comfort me and I appreciate that so much."

Chaeyoung shrugs. "You're my girlfriend. Of course I'm going to comfort you. I just don't want to stress you out more."

"You never could, babe," Lisa assures her. "Thanks for being here. I'm so fucking worried though, Rosie. I want to think about other things but then I can't because it's the only thing on my mind."

Chaeyoung hums to herself. "I could tell you things. If you want."

"Yes, okay," Lisa nods, desperate for any form of a distraction. "Tell me things. Anything. Please distract me, Rosie."

"Um," Chaeyoung frowns and plays with Lisa's hair. "One time when I was eight, we had to do a presentation at school about what we wanted to be when we grew up. And- uh, at that point I wanted to be a lion when I grew up. I got really into it, too. I made myself some ears like Nala, and one kid said I'd done it wrong because I didn't have a mane, but female lions don't have manes, so he was the one that was wrong."

Lisa actually laughs at Chaeyoung's story, but the thought of Jules' wellbeing is still at the back of her mind. "Cute. I bet everyone else said things like 'rockstar' or 'astronaut'. But no, my girlfriend is going to be a lion when she grows up."

Chaeyoung giggles and shakes her head. "No, now I want to be a famous artist. Or a graphic designer."

"How did you get into art?" Lisa asks, "Like... when did you start drawing as a serious hobby? I know you go to your art class, but I didn't think you started that until your parents realized you were serious."

"Oh, um," Chaeyoung taps on her leg. "As long as I can remember. I won a drawing competition for the first time when I was six and I always drew pictures when I was little if I got bored. I started reading art history books when I was nine and I still read a lot of them now, because I like to know things about how art has changed throughout the years and the backgrounds and influences of different artists. Art is my special interest though, so that's why."