So she's going to live with us?

Chapter 1

Jude

"So she's going to live with us?" Jude asked. His mom just told him that his hot neighbour he's known for years was going to live with them. She was going to live with them. In their house. Under their roof. Eating their food. Pissing in their toilet. This couldn't be a good thing, could it?

"Yes. It's the least we can do. You know I'm close with her parents and I'm sure as heck not letting her live alone for 6 months while her parents are on a business trip." His mom answered. Calm and rational as always. Insanely oblivious and irritating to Jude.

But he loved his mom anyway. I mean aren't all moms crazy?

"Yeah but..." Jude pressed. Amy was pretty popular at school and popular people had power. He would know. That is exactly why he didn't want her to live with their family.

"I thought you would be jumping for joy at the idea of Amy living with us." Mom said. Hmmm... maybe she wasn't that oblivious.

"More like humping for joy!" Screamed Matt running through the kitchen, skateboard in hand.

"Language!" Mom yelled after him, "And you better not start skateboarding in the house!"

'Humping for joy? What the hell did that even mean' Jude thought. How the hell was that lanky 14 year old idiot of a brother that educated in the sex department.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever..." Matt mumbled under his breath as he slowed while approaching the fridge. Oh he's gonna get it now...

"What did you say Matthew?" Mom said in her 'I'll give you 3 seconds to carefully reword your sentence or you'll get a slap upside the head' voice.

"Umm... I said... Wow. How did I get so lucky to have a mother that is so generous, beautiful, amazing, fascinating, sweet, kind, imaginative...running out of adjectives..." Matt rambled.

"Wonderful!" Jude very usefully interjected.

"Yes that too." Matt smiled. 'Lucky shit got himself out of that one' Jude thought.

"Mmm hmm. Well just get out of the kitchen and get ready for dinner. Amy will be coming over tonight in time for dinner because her parents leave today and I do not want it to seem like we live in a madhouse!"

"Mom, I don't think we should lie to our guests..."

"Out of the kitchen now Matthew!"

"Alright, alright I'm going, jeez."

And with that, the dimwit finally left the kitchen leaving Jude sitting at the breakfast bar island staring at the granite counter top.

Is this some kind of blessing in disguise? He knew the old him would be ecstatic to have a hot teenage girl living under his roof. But a lot had changed since last year and he didn't want to be his old self anymore.

"Agh, you kids are turning me grey." Mom muttered.

"You don't need any help in that area, Mom." Jude sniggered and jogged out the kitchen.

She was making the 'I'll give you 3 seconds to carefully reword your sentence or you'll get a slap upside the head' face, this time, and he could feel the glare at the back of his head as he hopped down from the stool.

"Pushing it, Jude" she spoke as he made his dash out of the kitchen.

As Jude walked up the stairs he almost tripped over his weirdo sister stroking the cat on the steps whispering "You don't need any female in your life Mr Puss Paws. They don't deserve you. They're only in it for the happy fun times and that's it."

Jude wasn't entirely sure that his 9 year old sister was even aware what the phrase 'happy fun times' implied but the fact that she was using it in a strangely correct context made him kind of nervous.

Just when he thought his family couldn't get any stranger, he saw his father burst through the front door with a leaf blower in hand and covered in soot shouting "Hank does not know what he has gotten himself into!"

Ah Hank. Neighbour. Next door. Arch nemesis of Jude's dad. They were always getting into the most absurd arguments or competitions.

"I'm not even gonna ask..." Jude muttered continuing his ascend up to his room.

So this was his family. They were crazy enough as it was and really didn't need an insanely hot teenage girl added to the mix.

Nope. This was not good.