The Carrero Contract - Finding Freedom (Book 3 of Contract Trilogy)

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Alexi slides an arm around my waist to pull me closer and rests his forehead against mine gently. No hesitation with being tender and it pulls me in more. My arms sliding around those shoulders and I curl my legs into a neat little ball on top of him. His body locking me close as though he might never release me; that safety I always yearn for envelops me with his touch and everything in me calms to a less traumatic hum.

Warm and comfortable on a strong lap, pressed in the muscular arms of a firm body. He was built to be a protector. The perfect specimen of a man.

"I expected you to run for the hills already." He utters softly, a new tone for him and possibly the most alluring in his whole arsenal, and I shrug. Feeling so much suddenly, tingling inside and out and I could stay like this forever. He somehow makes me feel right when everything around me is falling apart. Our conversation has quelled some of my 'ready to run' impulse because I think I want to console him more than I want to flee. The last minutes of chatter has blown my vision of him to pieces, and right this second, he's just a wounded boy who needs my hug.

"I'm not very bright and as you always point out, I like getting myself into trouble. I don't think I could find bigger trouble than you. I'm drawn to danger." I giggle softly and it works to crack a handsome smile on his face. He exhales heavily, blowing out some of his own tension but keeping me close.

It's probably the most honest moment of intimacy we have ever had. No games, no motives, just nose to nose, so close it's like we are one and there's stillness and peace between us. If my stupid head doesn't kick in to make me jump ship and head for the hills, then I could get used to this.

"I know right from wrong if that's what you're worried about. I'm not a psychopath and I do feel something when I ... take care of business. Some of the things I do leave their mark. I feel remorse, for some things anyway, and I do love people that matter to me. I love you, that wasn't a lie. I may not always have the right reactions to certain things but the basics of what I feel works, Cam. I'm capable of loving you and treating you right. Don't be afraid of me." Alexi's voice is soft and husky, so close I can feel the air on my lips, and I gaze into those endless grey eyes.

It's like he read my mind, dug into my thoughts and found the fear dwelling there. Alexi is still too good at second-guessing people, and in this instance, I'm glad to have his reassurances.

I look at him for a long time, my insides turning to mush but always with that little niggle of fear in the background.

"So ... you found out you were problematic, and your mother still shunned you. Then what?" I try to get it back on track and away from this lovey-dovey talk, not ready to go down that route, and Alexi's brow furrows a little. He knows I'm backing off from romance and love talk for now, that's not what this hug was for, and he narrows a fixed gaze on my eyes. Taking the hint and realising this isn't cuddling up for smoochiness.

"Gino and I were slowly growing apart. He didn't understand or see what I could see. I resented him because of it. We looked identical, we are alike in so many ways, yet she adored him and hated me, and I couldn't understand why. I blamed my brother rather than her, as screwed up as that sounds. It was easier to lay blame on anyone that wasn't her. So, my behaviour got worse and I continued to be the outcast of the family. Always a loner and kept away from the get-togethers, even though she was the only one who pushed me out. The rest of them tried to bring me back into the fold and I guess it's why I now have close bonds with so many of my cousins. They didn't give up on me and welcomed me back with open arms."

I see that respect and loyalty every day when his men are around him. Mico and Jackson, they adore him, and I can't believe any of them would've pushed him aside before he was their commander. There are genuine bonds with his closest family, I see that. Another hint that he can, and does, form lasting relationships and controls his sadistic side. His mother though, what in the hell is she all about?