The Carrero Contract - Finding Freedom (Book 3 of Contract Trilogy)

20

My morning starts out quiet and weirdly calm. Alexi is gone when I wake up, but the little note he left propped on his empty pillow, informs me he is downstairs working in the building today, until his meeting later.

The little note I may have held and pondered over for far too long. Tracing the neat script writing and the little out of character kisses at the end. Heart all butterflies and stupid teen girl feelings coursing through my body. Feeling all sorts of goofy and smiley, mood instantly sunshine with something so basic.

Mush is becoming a permanent mood for me when it comes to this man.

Just the simple act of being considerate and I'm a pathetic puddle of icky goo. He didn't want me to wake up alone and think he had once again abandoned me after a night of curling up and sleeping in his arms. He wanted me to wake up and know that he wasn't far away and left me sleeping while he had work to do. The guy really is trying to be someone I could love and have faith in.

Last night we didn't talk much. Just curled up in bed in underwear and held onto each other after the initial small talk and awkwardness of getting into it. Cuddling, staring at the stark darkness while he played with my hair and told me how happy he was that I was in his bed. It felt serene, peaceful and cosy. Entwined limbs and gentle caresses. It felt right and safe.

He kissed my temple when he sensed my breathing became heavy and even as drowsiness hit, and then I drifted off with my head on his chest so quickly it was insane. Completely forgiving him for his behaviour earlier that day.

Waking to his note made sure yesterday is a distant memory.

Morning Beautiful, I couldn't sleep in with you, but I will be downstairs in the office when you wake. Come see me when you are up, break up my mundane day with a little British sexiness and that smile.
Lexi xx

Alexi really is different this time.

He even used my version of his name as a sign-off. A shortened habit I somehow naturally started using, and it's becoming the version which rolls off my tongue before his full name does. I don't know why. Maybe because it's softer, cuter and somehow more personal having my own version of his name. Something that makes him mine. Like he calls me Cam. Even though everyone else in the building keeps it at a full Camilla. I have stopped noticing that I say it and only tend to use Alexi when he pisses me off.

Maybe getting closer and giving this a chance might be easier than I thought it would.

Looking divine in a fitted shift dress and silky straight hair, I wander down at midday, feeling weirdly upbeat considering last night's conversation about Santagato. I took my time, giving myself deliberate space to get ready even though I was itching to go find him and see him as soon as I woke up. I refrained, held myself back and mentally gave myself a stern talking to.

I have watched girls for years throw themselves at men and run after them like sad little puppy dogs. I won't be that girl. I may love him, but he has a lot to prove and I have to fight myself tooth and nail not to forget that when I'm being smothered with charm and sexy affection. It's so easy to let it all go and take him at face value when he is being an adoring man who leaves me wake-up notes.

Need to remind myself this is only part of the picture and I must see all of him before I commit to anything. I have to see him mad at me, hell-bent on punishment.

I dressed formally again with less full-on sassy, and a little of my reserved and understated today. Get the lift to the office floor with my mind on one thing and nothing else.

Seeing him.

From the second I opened my eyes it's like I could feel him on the floor below and was being drawn to go there. I miss him, even though he hasn't left. I need to occupy the same space as he is to feel settled again.