The Carrero Contract - Finding Freedom (Book 3 of Contract Trilogy)

15

I yawn and stretch out on the bed lazily, stirring slowly like a cosy kitten waking after a peaceful slumber. A huge sense of weightless contentment waving over me like a warm blanket in the moments before I fully connect with consciousness. I jump when a large, hot hand gently grips my hip in reaction to my wriggling and scares me half to death. Rousing me fully as I'm not used to waking up beside someone, ever. My heart skips a beat for a second and sends me into instant sweats and floundering panic, deep inside. It all comes back to me in a rush and I blink at an unfamiliar ceiling and a rotating fan that's too close for comfort. Blurry vision clearing to bring my surroundings to me.

Hazy in my sudden awakening, mouth a similar consistency to a furry carpet and my head aches with the after-effects of far too much alcohol and a night of walking myself to death. I have a monster hangover, head pounding me into oblivion as those first few seconds of happy waking ebb away into reality, and now I remember whose fault it is and who is lying beside me, breathing so deeply in his own comatose state of slumber.

The devil himself, who kept plying me with booze and egging me on. He is the reason I have woken to suffer.

I'm lying in bed with Alexi and I take stock of that for a moment, forgetting my miserable state and stare at his face just inches from mine and hold my breath for a second. Absorbing the moment. Connecting the dots and seeing the importance of this moment.

We have never woken in the same bed and it's strange yet warming in a way. He always gets up and leaves long before I wake, and the fact he is still here, touching me tenderly, holds me still and makes me analyse how it feels.

What it means.

Alexi chose to be here till morning, brought me to a place I can't leave without his say so, and shared a bed without running off before dawn. Another truth to his words.

Sure, it's a control freak manoeuvre to keep me captive in his company overnight, but it's an Alexi move at romance. I wouldn't expect anything else from him, to be fair.

He really wanted to wake up with me, like he said. So, he made it happen, whether I agreed or not.

I don't even feel surprised at that.

It feels nice. There are no other words to describe this sense of quiet contentment that waking in his arm gives me or the intimate way we are facing each other in the bed. Connected, close enough to share air although with enough space not to be overwhelmed, or for me to feel caged in by him. I'm drawn to watch him. The rise of that wide chest and fall as he sleeps on under my gaze. Unaware, trusting, so powerful as a male physique but he looks so young and vulnerable like this. To lie beside me, completely oblivious to me watching him. It's a show of trust. He let me get beside him when he is at his most vulnerable. Face peaceful and blank, but so youthful and pretty.

I guess all those times I never really analysed why Alexi was a fuck and run kind of guy. I just assumed it was intimacy issues. Keeping women at arm's length and never too close and cosy. Now I think about it, it's self-protection in other ways too. He has a lot of enemies and being asleep beside some strange girl he just screwed, leaves him open and unprotected. I know there are women in his world who are used to get close to a man and be part of their demise. Women kill too ... or let men in that can. He knows I'm no threat at all.

I have never seen him sleep. Not to my recollection and for a moment I see someone entirely different. Peaceful, gorgeous and has an aura of something that draws you close and urges you to wrap your arms around him. Something boyish and needy, aching for love.

No masks, no controlled manner because he is asleep. My heart constricts with so much feeling for this man that I scare myself senseless with the sheer overwhelming depth of it and move away again, edging backwards to break his spell over me. Even unconscious he has a power like no other.