The Carrero Contract - Finding Freedom (Book 3 of Contract Trilogy)

43

"I can't do this, Lexi." My heart is hammering through my chest and I have checked my appearance three dozen times in the full-length mirror of the bedroom we stayed in for the rest of the night. Obsessed with my appearance as anxiety strangles the life out of me. Trying to focus on something I can control and getting a little preoccupied with its importance.

We were busy most of last night, making up for our strained day with lots of gentle lovemaking, kissing and caresses, and I'm aglow with his attention today. Cheeks flushed, skin dewy, and a twinkling happiness in my eyes I've never seen before. I felt completely chilled when I got up this morning, well almost completely. That was until he dumped this little announcement on me that we're having a cosy family brunch at Mummy's house.

Ugh.

Last night was a repeat of the night he first made love to me, after the failed kidnapping at the club. Only without him holding back on the feels, and he completely blew my mind on so many levels. He can be so sweet, attentive, affectionate and warm when you peel away those dark sadistic layers. He turns into a youthful, smiley, touchy-feely boy when his guard completely dissolves, and last night was the first time I truly felt like we both did. No more hiding or secrets between us.

It was the epitome of perfection and this morning I couldn't be any stronger on my decision to stick with this and see where marriage can go.

His touch was gentle and intimate. He couldn't get enough of me and we lay wrapped up together in between slow, lazy sex sessions with pillow talk about everything and nothing. It just felt right, and natural. As though somehow, we finally found each other and let everything go to start afresh. Two people with no previous, no scars, no memories of hurting each other at all. The past fell away to reveal something new and precious and so very special. Alexi becoming the man I never knew he could be for me. Like an old soul I've known for an eternity, and we just eased into being together so effortlessly that I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming. I didn't think I could love him more than I did but this morning it's reached all new depths and I cannot bear to think of ever being parted from him.

Neither of us slept much but weirdly, I feel rejuvenated and fresh. As though we are in some dreamlike world where nothing can ever touch me again. He looks the same. A new spring in his step, warm happiness in the undertones to that serious face and a look in his eye that matches mine. We're happy. We work. He's my perfection and I'm his.

I groan inwardly as reality catches up with my reflection before me and reminds me of the one little hurdle we still need to overcome today. I would rather just hibernate here with him all day and have more of last night. Cocooned in 'Camlexi' world where nothing will ever be scary again and my heart feels worthy.

I've dressed a tad formally today, trying to make an impression. My gut turning and wrenching nerves hit me hard once more. Popping my little love bubble. I exhale heavily as I find nothing wrong with my attire except a severe lack of confidence in meeting a part of his family that matter.

I once again start pacing, clammy with anxiety and checking my angles and makeup obsessively as I turn and wander around aimlessly. I need to be perfect. Flawless and manicured with nothing out of place so I feel less erratic and uptight. This introduction is important. If they hate me, I'm scared it will affect what I am to him on some level, even though he says it won't. Alexi loves his family. He puts them above everything, so I need their approval.

"Yes, you can." Alexi's being his usual calm self, unaffected outwardly even though this surely must be making him antsy too. I mean it's his blood, his mother for God's sake. He is just over there, confidently sorting his shirt and watch by the en-suite door of the bedroom while looking impeccably groomed as always in a nice fitted black shirt that gives him mega 'phwoar' factor. Nothing in his appearance to show how he is feeling now we are minutes away from leaving.