Sevasey One Shot

Hold me

Summary:

Casey is not holding up too well after a tough call, including a gun, an abusive relationship, a house fire, and a near-death experience.

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Casey wakes up earlier than usual and can't shake the feeling that something is off. He looks over at his sleeping husband, and a smile creeps on his face. The two had been dating since they graduated from the academy, and when they were candidates, they were placed in different houses, so it didn't matter. They didn't come out when they were candidates because neither was ready and wanted to prove themselves as a firefighter first. They aren't ashamed of who they are, they didn't want to make a big deal out of it, and it was pretty new at the time.

But when they both were placed in house 51, they knew things would be complicated. At first, they thought they could continue to hide it but work on the same company, same shift. The same house was hard for them to keep their hands to themselves. They also had too many close calls where they nearly got caught, and it stressed the both of them out. So after a few months of working at house 51, they ended their almost two-year-long relationship. They remained close friends because neither could live without the presence of the other.

A few months later, they found themselves casually hooking up because of their built-up sexual frustration of working side by side and not being able to touch one another. It didn't get serious, or they never labelled it, but they acted very couple-like. It wasn't until Matt's feelings couldn't take it anymore and told Kelly that they either stopped hooking up and went back to friends or gave their relationship another try. Kelly, of course, wanted Matt again but didn't know if it was worth it. Neither wanted to leave the house. They love 51, but they also love each other, always have.

So they made it official again, and they found a balance. They would keep it platonic at work and sneak a kiss here and there when they were sure no one was looking but went back to their touchy selves in the comfort of one of their apartments. When they both made lieutenant and Kelly move to squad, they thought about coming out. At this point, they were a year into their relationship the second time around. However, the CFD made the rule clear once again after they had to fire a fellow firefighter for letting their relationship get in the way of a rescue. So they kept quiet and continued how they are now.

They only told Boden, well Boden found out after he walked into Matt's quarters one early morning. It was a habit to do that since Matt was the only one ever up, and they would go over some of the paperwork. But that particular morning, he walked into Kelly spooning Matt. The sound of the door opening had woken Kelly up, and the chief and squad lieutenant stared shocked at each other for what felt like hours. Boden made a hand motion to his office, and Kelly nodded. He closed the door, and Kelly sighed and kissed Matt's cheek before quietly getting out and walking towards the chief's office.

"Explain," Boden said once Kelly had entered the office and closed the door behind him. Kelly sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Look, can we talk about this after shift? When Matt is awake?" Kelly pleaded, and Boden looked reluctant but nodded.

"We could wake him up," Boden suggested, and Kelly immediately shook his head. He held a pain expression and figured it was Matt's nightmares. Boden is aware that Matt gets nightmares about his childhood and knows that when he gets them and can sleep, he should remain asleep for as long as his subconscious mind would allow him. "Intervals?"

"Forty-five to an hour?" Kelly asks more than states. "At least he doesn't scream anymore but is still shaking like a leaf," he sighs both out of sympathy and exhaustion for his boyfriend. Matt only deals with these nightmares once a year around his father's death, and Kelly used to deal with them a lot more often when they were fresh out of the academy but now not so much.