Sevasey One Shot

Share It All With Me

Summary:

In a world where you and your soulmate can take on each other's pain, Matt becomes increasingly worried for his soulmate.

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Matt was sitting in his office with the door closed and pretending to be working on his paperwork. He was distracted because Hallie had once again walked out of his life, and the part that got him was that he didn't even feel that heartbroken about it. He felt more guilty than anything. He knew he had a soulmate; hell, the pain he would feel that wasn't his was proof enough. Hallie had never believed in soulmates or found hers, so Matt never said anything. He had an inkling about who his soulmate was; in the past, he would've explored it more. However, given their current relationship, Matt didn't even think that was a possibility. Hallie was a good fix. She and he clicked at the beginning of their relationship, but as years passed, they grew apart. Matt wanted to hold onto any semblance of a healthy, happy couple.

He knows that if his soulmate accepts him, he could have that, but he believes he missed his chance—if he is right about who it is. It took him a couple of years of working alongside the man to think his soulmate was Kelly Severide. During the academy days, they were both sore from the intense training, so Matt never thought much of it. It wasn't until he and Severide were working in the same house that he realized some of the pain he would feel was in similar spots to where Kelly got hurt. He keeps telling himself that it is a coincidence. Kelly was often very good at hiding his pain, sometimes Matt couldn't even tell, but the times he got hurt in front of Matt, those injuries lined up.

He was stuck between trying to work things out with Hallie—even though he knew deep down, it wouldn't work—or trying to rekindle whatever he could save from his relationship with Kelly. He knows that he should try to keep his relationship with Kelly for the house's sake and that Kelly is his oldest and best friend, but he doesn't know how to get the other man to listen. Matt knows deep down that Kelly is only angry at him because he needs to direct his anger somewhere, and it just so happens that Matt is in the way. He knows that Kelly doesn't blame him for Andy's death and understands that the other man is hurting deeply. Sometimes he wonders if his soulmate is truly Kelly, how much of the emptiness and ache in his chest are his feelings and how much of it belongs to Kelly.

Maybe he is in a bit of denial. Part of him will be glad if Kelly is his soulmate, but the other part is scared. They had talked about soulmates before, and Kelly always said he didn't want to meet his soulmate. The three of them—Andy, Kelly and Matt—had admitted to each other that they knew they had soulmates from a young age, and before they fully understood what the word meant, they would automatically take each other's pain. Many times in the past, he would accidentally cut himself, and two seconds later, the pain was gone. He remembers when he was seven, he woke up in agonizing pain because he subconsciously took his soulmate's pain and couldn't walk for a week. His knee felt as if it was broken, and his mother yelled at him for taking pain from someone he had never met, but Matt didn't want his soulmate—even if he didn't know what it meant—to feel alone. But he could feel his soulmate try to take some of that pain back, and two weeks later, Matt relented, and they ended up sharing the pain. Kelly had never mentioned that he broke his knee, so that was Matt's first argument when he tried to convince himself that Kelly wasn't his soulmate.

All that changed when Matt entered the bathroom from the doors and noticed Kelly rubbing his right shoulder at his locker. Matt remembered a sudden pain in his right shoulder shortly after he climbed down from the ariel after watching Andy go up in flames. He was so numb that it didn't register until he returned home the next day. Ever since he has been trying to take the pain that keeps reoccurring, but his soulmate takes it right back every time he tries to.