I'm in Love with a Jackass

Chapter 2- My Uncle is who now?

Author's Note: Just wanted to let you readers know, there's some cussing in this chapter. So, viewer discretion is advised.

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There's no way my uncle could be Johnny Knoxville. There was just no way. I dreamt of doing a stunt with him. I jumped off a 100 foot building with a parachute on my back. Johnny and his friends were cheering me on. I tried to pull the cord to release the parachute, but it had disappeared!

I was about half-way down the building and still free-falling when Steve-O, dressed in an angel costume popped up beside me and yelled at me in his raspy voice, "Don't stop falling 'til you get to the bottom!"

He then disappeared in a puff of smoke and appeared in normal clothes at the now nearing cement-ground. I squeezed my eyes shut and begged my mind to let me out of this scary and exhilarating nightmare. I woke up on the couch, the movie starting over again. I sighed and got up to go to the bathroom. On my way there, I glanced at the clock and saw that the time was 11:50.

"Oh shit!" I panicked.

I had literally ten minutes until my guests arrived, and my apartment was a mess! I didn't have any food, and there were things on the floor. Some of my clothes were scattered all over the floor from trying to rearrange them yesterday in the closet! I groaned and briskly picked up and put away my clothes.

I read the clock. 11:55. I was just in underwear and a tank top. Panicking, I quickly dug through my closet and found a pair of black skinny jeans, and a black v-neck shirt with a breast pocket. I decided not to wear my contacts because I was too lazy to put them on, so I slipped on my Ray Ban prescribed glasses and was about to grab my toothbrush when I heard a knock on my door.

Wide-eyed, my heart pounding, I walked unsteadily to the door and looked through the eye-hole. There, I saw a short guy, about 5 foot 1 waiting at the door. I scrunched my nose. I was relieved but also disappointed that my uncle wasn't Johnny Knoxville.

I opened the door and poked my head out. I smiled at the stranger that was my uncle and wrapped him in a warm hug. I felt like a giant with my 5'5" figure. After releasing him from my hug, he stared at me awkwardly. I smiled awkwardly back.

"Well, umm. Miss Katie Yaffery. I'm not your uncle."

My smile disappeared as a sudden jolt of electricity and excitement punched me in the gut. My eyes widened and my voice cracked as I apologized, "Okay... I'm so, so, so, sorry! I didn't mean-"

I was cut off by a bunch of screaming guys nearing my apartment door. They were all trampling each other as the guy that looked like the leader picked me up, my face crushed into his chest and twirled me around several times. He put me down on the ground with his arm around my shoulder and yelled, "Katie Yaffery! Well, how long has it been? Fifteen years!"

The guy smelled faintly of beer and cologne. I looked up and saw his spiky dark-brown hair, his cop-glasses, and his joking smile. He took off his cop glasses and I saw the way his brown eyes sparkled.

"Umm... Hi. Uncle Johnny... Knoxville." I whisperd his last name quietly. I was so nervous. Johnny Knoxville was my uncle? I couldn't believe it. I inhaled sharply as the rest of his crew came along. Steve-O, Bam Margera, Ryan Dunn, and Dave England were there. Bam sat on a longboard as Steve-O and Ryan pushed him forwards.

The skateboard was rolling towards us as Bam screamed, his voice echoing down the corridor. I stepped to the side as Johnny got ready for the jump. Bam ducked his head down a little as my crazy uncle frog leaped over him. Or at least almost. Bam's forehead slammed into Uncle Johnny's ding-dong as he slammed into the wall. I watched as Bam and Johnny just stayed on the floor until the rest of the guys ran in; Dave holding a small digital camera, filming the action.