Ours After All (All Ours, #2)

Chapter 13

Have you ever felt so out of place that the idea of curling yourself into a little ball and rolling into oblivion actually seemed more appealing than whatever you were dealing with?

That's me right now.

It's been me the entire day if we're getting technical. But whatever.

I don't really have much anxiety- not when I'm not around my family at least- but today... God, I haven't been this anxious in a long time.

I don't get intimidated that easily. I grew up with attractive, intimidatingly harsh people surrounding me every day so whenever they'd feel me pulling myself back into the background, they would pull me right back to stand tall right where I was and not give a single fuck.

Now that I'm older and we've all gone our separate ways, found our independence, I think that might have been the issue. I was so used to standing tall and proud whenever my friends were around, that I sort of...forgot what it was like to do it by myself, without that reliable sense of protection of the group I knew had my back and would be ready to defend me in a heartbeat if needed them to.

So now, whenever I find myself in a situation that requires me to puff out my chest and stand as steadily as I possibly can, my stomach just sinks and my knees get wobbly and I just want to throw up because of how alone I feel. That layer of armor isn't here with me anymore, and it's like a punch to the gut.

It's my own fault, really. I never should have been so dependent on other people for my own security. Even if those people are like my sisters- and Joshua- I should have never let it come to this so that days like these wouldn't be as hard as they are.

''Pretty cool, huh?''

I shake my head, and my head snaps up to meet Maxwell's eyes- which are sparkling with so much excitement, I don't have the heart to tell him to get me out of here.

''Yeah,'' I smile, knowing it's nowhere near reaching my eyes and hoping he'll see. Hoping he'll just notice. ''It is.''

It's actually beautiful in here- not that I was expecting anything less from an up class charity event for businessmen. You could probably run around this place all night and still not get through all the floors.

Maxwell's father runs some sort of digital marketing company, and since he and his wife had to go out of town, but were set to attend this event, he asked Max if he would go in his place. Maxwell being the people-pleaser he is, couldn't refuse. And although I wondered what business a lawyer had at this kind of thing, I quickly realized that this was his world. He didn't look bored. He didn't look like he wanted to flee. He loved this. He loved interacting with these people who had their noses stuck in the air as if they were better than everyone else. He loved the flashiness of it all. He even loved the stupid little bite-sized appetizers of caviar and carpaccio that didn't even taste as fresh as they should- and the vanilla-infused champagne that I had to keep in my mouth for about fifteen minutes before I worked up the courage to swallow because of how disgusting it was. He loved this.

And I never thought I'd be the girl that had trouble adjusting but this may have been more than I can take in one day.

I have been together with Max for over nine months now, and I always wondered why he kept me out of these kinds of things. Why he didn't take me to his parent's place, or why he didn't introduce me to his posh little friends and family, why he didn't take me as his plus-one when he got invited to this sort of thing back when we first were going out. But I completely understand now. He was afraid of scaring me. I have been nothing more than open with him, so he knows this whole scene is just not it for me.