Ours After All (All Ours, #2)

Chapter 21

My head is pounding

Like, actually pounding. It's not often that headaches get a hold of me, but when they do it's mostly because of my insomnia.

Today it's not because of my insomnia.

But I sure freaking wish it was.

Joshua.

God, I hate him. I actually, physically hate him for doing this to me. It's making me sick. I haven't eaten anything all day because even the water I swallow tours back up my throat and makes me want to puke.

The most annoying part of this whole thing? That's it's my own damn fault. I could have kept my mouth shut. I could have told him goodnight and gone to sleep peacefully.

But no. I had to open my big freaking mouth and ask the million-dollar question.

''Did you really have to kiss me?''

I regretted the words the second they'd left my lips.

Even more when he responded.

''Which time?''

That should have been my sign to put an end to the whole thing. There literally couldn't have been more of a clear freaking sign for us both to shut the hell up.

But we didn't.

So now I'm here. Fighting a panic attack.

''Twenty-four hours. If I don't come to you, or you don't come to me, we will never, ever talk about this, or anything that's happened in the last couple of weeks ever again.''

That was last night.

And still no sign of Joshua.

Not that he's heard of me or anything. I've been pacing around my living room all day, contemplating on calling him, or showing up at his place or his gym. I dialed his number, typed out a text, even grabbed my keys and walked down to my car.

But I couldn't make myself go through with anything. My pride wouldn't allow me. I've been hiding my feelings for Joshua for years, doing everything in my power so he won't find out. There's no way in hell that I'm about to knock on his door and ask him to...

Lord, I don't even know what I'd ask him. How would I, when I don't even know what I want from him in the first place? I don't know if he even knows what he'd want from me.

And I'm not sure I'm brave enough to go find out.

But that doesn't mean the anticipation isn't killing me, because it is. I'm so worked up, I barely even register the ringing phone in my hand. My heart sinks down to the deepest of pits in my stomach until I check the caller ID and see who it is.

''Hello?''

''Hey, Nar.''

''Hey, how's it going, hon?''

''I'm good. I was in the neighborhood having some coffee with a friend and I thought I'd stop by if you've got time.''

''Yeah, sure.'' Not like I was planning on doing something other than stressing myself out tonight. ''Wait, what café did you say you were at?''

''Lilith's.''

I sneak a quick glance at the little watch over my left wrist and let out one of the many sighs I've already let out today. Almost twenty-three hours. He's not showing up. Even if he does and I'm not here, he'll call.

He always calls.

''I'll be there in twenty minutes.''

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