Ode to the old us - Tsukkishima x fem reader

6. Repetition or relplacement

Song: washing machine heart by mitski
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"Y/n, hey."
"Lev... what are you doing right now?"
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You sat on a swing set, pushing yourself back and fourth with your foot.
Your heart raced in your chest as you waited for lev to arrive.
You noticed the sound of steps and looked up to see lev walking towards you with a sweet smile. Taking a seat on the swing beside yours.
"So, why'd you ask me to come out here?" He asked
"Well... it's a little hard to explain. But I think I really needed to see you."
"At midnight?"
You let out a soft chuckle, realizing how strange this whole situation was.
"You must think I'm crazy..."
"Yeah, but I also think you're cute. It balances out." He gave a sweet smile.

"Well then I'll have to hope my cuteness will compensate.." you stood up, walking in front of Levs swing and crouching so you'd be at eye level.
"Compensate for what?" He gave a playful smirk, seemingly with some idea of what you wanted.
"For doing something... possibly stupid." You replied, leaning closer to the man. You hesitated for a moment, lev noticed and closed the distance for you.

The kiss was soft and light. Completely different from the hunger that you felt with kei. Your hand rested on his face. It wasn't heated or passionate, it was gentle and safe. This kiss didn't feel like a risk, was that what you wanted?
You pulled away from lev with a soft smile, letting out a shaky breath.
Lev chuckled softly. "Is that why you called me out here?"
"Maybe a little..." you laughed.

[first person POV]

I like this... I like the feeling I have when I'm around you. I like the sweet taste of your lips on mine and the fluttery feeling in my heart when we talk. You always seem to say what I want to hear. Everything about you seems to be so perfect, but you still aren't him. I'm having a hard time understanding if I even want you to be like him. Why should I? It's been five years since we ended... it's been five lonely and exhausting years. The moment I finally want to move on, he comes back...

Does Kei even want me anymore? What if that kiss really was just a mistake to him? Kei is a risk, lev is comfortable...
Who am I kidding, I try to act like I have everything together but I'm no more mature than I was in high school. I'm the same lovesick idiot who can't figure out other people.
Here I am with someone who seems more than perfect, yet I'm still questioning what I want. Is there something wrong with me?

"We should probably both head home..." I mumbled. 'I really need to sort out my thoughts.'
"Yeah it's getting late, mind if I walk you home?" Lev asked.
I gave a soft smile. "I'd like that."

_____[second person POV]_____

Lev brought you to your doorstep, he looked a bit hesitant, as if he was trying to collect his thoughts before he finally spoke. "I know we've only gone on like two... and a half? dates... but in all honesty I really like you. You don't have to decide right away or anything but would you possibly want to be my girlfriend?" Lev looked nervous, it was cute... part of you wanted to say yes but you knew it wouldn't be fair to do that before figuring things out.
You gave him an almost sad smile. "Lev, this isn't a no... but it's also not a yes. I uh... I need some time to think about things, if that's alright?"
He gave you a gentle smile, brushing your hair behind your ear and placing a light kiss on your forehead. "Take as much time as you need." He replied before walking off.

'Is this a mid life crisis? I thought I was too young for one of those!'

[to be continued]