Stardom

Shockwave

Thanks to Crystal, the following days were a little easier. I woke up each morning to a tidier apartment and forced myself to bother going outside, even if it was to grab a coffee and walk along the beach. She'd put in a call to her friend, and I'd had a successful interview the following afternoon, securing a position on the front desk. It was bound to be somewhat slow-paced and tedious in comparison to what I had been doing, but at least it was something less risky and daring.

Taking a seat on a bench looking out over the ocean, I sipped my coffee and only glanced up when a set of footsteps came to a stop nearby, a weight pressing down on the bench beside me.

"Thanks for coming," I smiled.

"Course," Charlie said swiftly, his responding smile seeming clipped, a little too strained to truly meet his eyes.

"I wanted to tell you to your face that I'm leaving the club," I explained.

"I already know," He replied, sounding a little defeated. "Crystal didn't say anything, but I got the feeling."

I nodded. Of course, he did.

"I'm sorry," I said genuinely, "I should have come to speak to you sooner, you deserved better."

He chuckled softly.

"I don't know about that," He continued, "Not like I'm a saint, maybe avoiding me was what was best."

"I didn't mean to avoid you." He threw me a disbelieving look, and I relented with a roll of my eyes, "Okay, maybe I did, but it wasn't because of you, it was because of me."

"What d'you mean?"

"After what happened at the hospital, I felt lower than I ever had done in my entire life. I was ashamed, angry and as pathetic as it is, I felt sorry for myself," I sighed, taking a sip of coffee before pressing on, "I was desperate to feel anything that wasn't pain. I'd like to think I wouldn't have done something stupid, but I couldn't trust myself."

"And you thought that you might make a bad decision with me?" He said understandably.

"Maybe. I mean it happened before... and I know that you feel something for me."

"Yeah," He said quietly, "I guess there's no point denying that."

There was a split second of silence as he just looked at me, and I could tell that he was trying to hide his disappointment at my rejection.

"You've been nothing but good to me since we met," I said fondly, "And I do like you a lot, but..."

"I get it," He interrupted, "You love him, and you want to try and make it work."

"Yeah, I do," I nodded.

"And that means leaving the club, and me, in the past."

He looked out at the beach without waiting for me to speak. Silence stretched between us as we both stared ahead. When he finally did speak again, I could hear the emotional sting behind the words.

"We'll miss you."

"I'll miss you all too."

It felt like I was saying goodbye to a huge chunk of myself, as well as a dear friend, and it hurt. But at the same time as I was saying goodbye, I felt like I was opening a door to my future, taking the first of many steps out into the light, finally joining the right path, one that was here all along, but hidden by the haze of all I'd gotten caught up in before.

"You know, I saw it in you the day we met," Charlie began, "You have what it takes to do anything you set your mind to, Selena. You're intelligent, you're brave, strong and talented," He got to his feet, smiling down on me as warmly as he could, "Go after whatever it is that you want in life, and don't ever give up until you get it."