Shelby Madness

Chapter 26,'Fuck off back to Newcastle.'

29th May 1919, Small Heath Birmingham

"So, are you out of your huff yet?" Tommy asked.

"You know what, just fuck off," Libby said, standing up to leave. She had come to try to mend her relationship with Tommy like John had asked her too but Thomas, like always made nothing easy and everything a challenge, even if in the end it would only end up hurting him.

"Don't talk to me like that, I'm your father."

Libby scoffed, "Get off your fucken high horse will ya. You're not a proper dad, man. You couldn't give a fuck about me or my brother."

"Yeah and John does, does he? Cos he seems to think he is the perfect dad at the minute."

"He is a lot better than you, that's for sure. I mean he has 4 kids under 7 and yet despite being a single father with more than a full-time job and barely any help he still manages to never let his kids down and spend time with them, which is more than you do."

"What did you ask to talk to me then, Libby? If all you were going to do was tell me how John is a better dad."

'Are you thick or something, like doing something in that pea-sized brain of your not work? Why do you think I came to talk? Honestly, I don't know how Polly has coped with you, Arthur, John and Ada and not killed any of you yet cos I've been here about a month and a half and already thought about killing each one of you more than once."

"All you have done since you walked through that door is disobey me, undermine me and give me grief. I don't know what else I can give you that I haven't already." Tommy was already stressed and Libby was making it worse. The last thing he needed was her causing trouble and a rift in his family when big business was coming.

"If you really need to ask, maybe you should be a dad." Libby didn't mean to be so horrible she was just sick of Tommy.

He had promised her so much when he took her away from Newcastle and everything she had ever known, he had promised to always be there if she needed him and 2 weeks ago when she really needed him he was nowhere to be seen. Actually that's wrong he was defending her abuser and his father.

"If you don't want me, Elizabeth, just leave. Fuck off back to Newcastle and don't show your face around here again, go on there the door." He watched her face drop and it felt like he was going to be sick. Hadn't meant to sound so cruel and like he didn't care because he truly did.

Tears were fighting their way out of Libby's eyes but she didn't let them fall. She wasn't going to give him that satisfaction and let him know what effect his words had over her. Instead, she lightly nodded her head, looked Tommy up and down with a tight-lipped frown and left.

Holding herself together long enough to make it to John's and into the small bedroom she had taken up residence in, if Tommy didn't want her to show her face around here again she wouldn't because one thing about Libby was she never willingly stayed where she wasn't wanted.

Throwing her things into a bag she grabs the money she has saved up from under her mattress and her notebook where she tore a page out and began to write on it.

Dear John,

Thank you for everything. I will never forget the kindness you showed me from the start but I don't fit in here and that's why I can't stay.

I tried to talk to Tommy just like you asked but like usual I couldn't keep my mouth shut and in the end, I pushed him away as I do with everyone. You see the truth is everyone would just be a lot happier if I wasn't here. You, Arthur and my dad would still be close and you wouldn't feel like you had to take my side.

I'll miss you all but I can't stay. It's not fair to yous and it's not fair to me. 

James is happy here, all he has ever wanted was a proper family and with yous, I think he's found it, that's why I've not told him I'm leaving or asked him to come with me because I know he would and I can't ask him to give you his happiness for me, I won't do it. So, please look after him.

Tell my dad I love him and I never wanted to make him unhappy and he won't be anymore. Tell him it wasn't him who pushed me away nor made me want to leave. I never truly wanted to come.

Tell Ada that I wish her the best, her and Freddie and the baby. Tell Arthur to smile more because he can be intimidating sometimes and I want him to find a wife eventually. Tell Polly that she made me feel a motherly love I never thought I'd get to experience and for that, I'm eternally grateful to her.

And, John never forgot that you were one of the three reasons I stayed so long. You made my experience here  more enjoyable and made me feel more loved than I ever have before. Your kids are amazing and precious. Keep doing right by them because I know how much they look up to you.

You Shelby's are my family but not everyone belongs with family and I'm one of the people who don't. I love you all but it's time for me to leave.

                                    Elizabeth Smith x

Folding the note over and writing John's name on one side, Libby left it on the kitchen table before leaving John's house, locking his door and posting the key back through.

Sometimes it hurts to close a chapter of your life but with every Chapter, you close another opens. Another opportunity waiting for you to snatch it and go. So, sometimes although it is hard to leave, leaving is the best.

Unknown to Libby at this moment, however, her chapter with the Shelbys wasn't closing yet, in fact, it was just the beginning.

N\A:

This chapter nearly made me cry writing it so I hope you like it. After chapter 27 there is a big jump in the timeline it's like 5 months so just before Johns wedding and episode 4, which is my favourite episode of Peaky Blinders.

Jane