You're Seeing Things Again [GerIta Hetalia || APH]

Chapter 24: A New Chapter

TW for self harm aftermath and cleaning wounds n' shit.

Feliciano sat silently on his bed. "Doctors office" made it sound so proper, but in all honestly, it was just them in a bedroom. But what did he expect? He doesn't have a private doctor... pssh, if only Ludwig pursued medicine...

It seemed damn near Ludwig was his personal doctor. He always helped him and got concerned over his well-being. Speaking of such... he was about to do it again. Naturally, all his remedies are in Feliciano bedroom (Scandalous /j)

Ludwig faced his patient. He was previously unpacking a lot of the things he would use. He smiled a bit, "Can you show me the cuts?" The request caused Feli to tense up a bit. He was very nervous... hell, scared to death would be better to describe the feeling.

Ludwig tried to comfort him, "Fel, you don't have to worry. I won't judge one bit of it." His reassurance was... kinda bad to say the least, but Ludwig's attempt made Feliciano loosen up about it just a bit.

Feliciano pushed off the bed and unbuttoned his pants. This was kinda embarrassing, since he kinda felt like he was stripping for Ludwig. He unzipped his pants and allowed himself to sort of shimmy them off. He kept his gaze down so he and Lud wouldn't lock eyes..

Speaking of Ludwig, he was flushed a bright shade of pink. He knew Feliciano had to show the cuts, but he didn't know he did them somewhere on his lower region! He thought it was his wrists or something with his arms. He just hoped he didn't have to remove anything else. This was too risky to even watch.

Feliciano pushed the khakis down to his knees before sitting on the bed. He put his hands on his lap to hide... well "down there". He could tell Ludwig looked a bit dumbstruck, probably from the removal of clothing. He made a noise to get his attention so he would stop staring.

Ludwig jolted in surprise and rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment, "Sorry.." he gave a nervous laugh. He examined Feliciano's thighs. Most of the cuts were light, but he saw one much deeper than the rest. He noticed a lot of scars, he wondered how long he had done this.

Ludwig asked some simple pain questions, to which Feliciano replied that he felt pain with pressure or movement. Ludwig sat for a moment, still staring. He was in so much disbelief. He didn't expect that many scars. He felt so bad he didn't know about this before... how could he not of known? Pure luck? Careful planning and hiding of evidence? Who knew.

Ludwig looked up from Feli's thighs to his face. Feliciano displayed embarrassment and regret just by his body language, it was clear. Lud stammered to make a sentence, "Can I.. talk to you about this at all?" Feliciano thought for some moments, biting his lip in his trance. He nodded and braced for the line of questioning:

"When did you start?"

"Some while back... A few months after Grandpa Romulus started leaving home, I lost my job."

"What caused you to lose your job?"

"When Grandpa started leaving I got very depressed. He took care of me and loved me all my life... So I stopped going to work for "family issues" and I was fired for false excuses"

"So you started then?"

"It became a habit then, sì. Before all that, I attempted it, but I never became as addicted as I was after being fired."

"Did you like your job?"

"No. But Lovino made such a big deal over it. With him being aggressive and my grandpa leaving, everything hit hard for me and I lost it"

"When did you finally stop?"

"5 months ago. I count every day.
I was proud I came that far, but now I feel bad I started again."