Cookie Run: Kingdom One-Shots, Head-Canons, Incorrect Quotes

O-S Babysitting (Strawberry Crepe & Licorice & Red Velvet)

Strawberry Crepe blew a bubble with their gum before it snapped into a satisfying pop. They rolled their eyes, exasperated. "You can't be serious," they said with a bit of a laugh.

Licorice looked them in the eye and something twisted deep within his soul. He can handle neurological abnormalities just fine, but something about this twelve year old monster set him off. Sure, they were all "evil", but they were plain cruel. "Dead serious," he muttered, restraining himself from yelling at the Enchantress's little pet.

"Alright, but if any of my bots get broken because of this, I'm killing your beloved animals, then you both." They glanced over at Poison Mushroom, who was giggling as Chiffon sniffed their skin and licked their face, tail wagging behind him. "For attack animals they seem quite tame," they noted.

"Poison Mushroom is no animal," said Red Velvet, placing a supportive hand on Licorice's tense shoulder. "They are a person. Perhaps even more so than you."

"Very well then. I despise you both. Carry on." They shooed them away with two flicks of their wrist.

The two men turned and walked away. Licorice spun on his heel, pointing an accusatory finger at them. "If you lose my cat or hurt my child, I will not think twice before taking your head."

"Same goes for Chiffon," added Red Velvet, not turning around as he continued to walk away. "Hurt him and die."

"OH! And no experimenting on them," Licorice spat.

"Where's the fun in that," SC asked.

The adults sighed to themselves and shut the door behind them. "SC reminds me of a very cruel version of that Espresso guy we keep fighting. I believe the nickname his partner gave him is also pronounced 'ess-see'." Licorice shook his head. "He's kind of a dad to Pancake. A little odd, but a nice guy."

They were both very familiar with Pancake, who had become Poison Mushroom's best friend on a camping trip after they had wandered over to another camp. That is also when Licorice met Clover, who he swears to this day is an ancient forest spirit incarnate.

"This is so stupid," said Red Velvet. "Why are we trusting them?"

"Because I want to see my boyfriend and you want to see your nun." Licorice snorted at the thought. "Plus that brat is the only one here I trust, besides you, not to tattle."

Red Velvet gave a nod of his head and a roll of his eyes. "What great sin did I commit to deserve you as a friend?"

"I don't know. Maybe you should take that up with your nun."

***

Upon their return, SC collapsed to the floor in distress. "EVERYTHING WENT WRONG!"

"As expected," said Red Velvet. "Did you harm them?"

"No! They harmed me!" They whined dramatically, pulling at their pink hair. "The cat hates the dog and won't come down from the rafters, the child keeps trying to poison me, the dog keeps trying to eat the poison, the cat bit me, then flew back up into the rafters, and I swear to god the kid ran into a wall chasing a painting of a butterfly."

Licorice and Red Velvet chuckled, high-fiving each other. "Bat-Cat," he called, arms open as the demonic beast flew into his arms. "Here Shroomy, Shroomy, Shroomy!"

Poison Mushroom poked their head out from around a corner, then ran to Licorice, hugging his hips tightly and nuzzling into the fabric of his oversized, purple sweater. "I missed you," they said with a sniffle. "You were gone for so long."

"I know, honey."

Meanwhile, Red Velvet was carrying the gigantic wolfdog like a baby. "Such a good boy," he cooed.

"I'm never babysitting for you again."

"Here's 20 bucks," said Licorice, handing them money.

"My apologies, good sir. I look forward to watching over these three little angels again soon," they said with a devious smile as they pocketed the money.

"No chance in hell," said Red Velvet, smiling.