Cookie Run: Kingdom One-Shots, Head-Canons, Incorrect Quotes

O-S A Glimpse of Life (A Whole Bunch of Different Things)

A/N: This is an AU where they're all people in our world so they don't speak fancy or live in a technology free kingdom etc.

"MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!" Madeleine fell back on the couch, clutching his leg to his chest.

"WHAT DID YOU DO THIS TIME, YOU BRUTE?" Espresso rushed down the stairs, panic stricken and angered.

The security guard lowered his head in shame. "I stubbed my toe."

"I swear to god! I'm a busy person! I founded a school! Why the hell am I stuck with you as a roommate?!" He threw his arms up and sighed in frustration.

"You're stuck with me because you can't take care of yourself and Latte asked Almond to hire me to do it for you!"

"I utterly despise you all!"

"Yeah well... you must be a... hateful cow? Cause you have... an utter... That insult didn't work, I'm sorry."

***

"How many times have we been over this?! You're my Elliot and I'm your Margo! We're the fucking magicians!" Pomegranate spun around in her chair, tilting her head back to remain looking at Licorice.

"The Magicians was originally a book series."

"Yeah but Quinten sucked even worse in them so I don't care! The point is that I'm your sassy best friend and you're my bitchy best friend and we're gonna go find you a man!" She stood up and walked over to him, placing her hand on his shoulder sincerely. "And maybe do a ton of drugs while we're at it..."

"I'm not day drinking with you again, we nearly got arrested." Licorice glared down at her playfully.

"GOD DAMN IT!"

***

Poison Mushroom crouched down to the strange looking thing and poked it with a stick. Nothing seemed to happen. Hesitantly, they repeated the action. The beast shivered and twitched, then jumped to its feet, startling a scream out of the large group of children that had gathered around to watch.

Poison Mushroom merely reached out and swiftly picked it up, clamping its jaws together and avoiding its claws. They stood up, turned around and stared down their classmates. "I believe I've discovered a new kind of animal. How much are you willing to bet that mushroom over there is poisonous?"

***

Clover tapped his fingers on the counter to the beat of his favorite song, waiting for the customer to finish paying. He flashed them a warm, though fake, smile and thanked an unknown person for the millionth time that day.

His manager, Herb, bustled around and tended to the plants as Clover did his best to sell them. He had never been so bored in his life.

"POMEGRANATE! NO!"

A short woman with bright red hair and a wicked grin approached Clover. "How can I help you today," he asked.

"Hi, you're cute. You've got this cool hipster thing going for you, huh? I like your pride pin," she paused to look at his name tag, "Clover."

"Uh... thanks?"

"I'm going to be honest with you, Clover. I'm a little drunk and I've got this friend, who is currently outside having a panic attack. You'll know him when you see him."

Clover glanced out the window and, sure enough, there stood a young man with pale skin and curly black hair, pacing back and forth and muttering curses to himself. "Ok?"

"He thinks you're cute. Are you single? You seem nice. He needs a nice guy." Pomegranate handed him a slip of paper. "Anyways, here's his number, byeeeeeee!"

With the ding of the shop bell and some muffled screeches and insults, Pomegranate and the mysterious man were gone. Clover looked at the paper in his hand. "Licorice..." he muttered to himself. "Must be his name..."

***

"Pancake!" Madeleine spread his arms as the little boy leaped into them. "How was school?"

"It was so cool! Dad, Shroom picked up this weird looking animal we found and then tried to feed it poison!" He rambled on and on in great detail as Madeleine began the walk back to the car.

Clover held Custard's hand and walked him out of the parking lot, smiling as he waved to his friend, Pancake.

"BUT THE THING WOULDN'T EAT IT! AND THEN THE LUNCH MONITOR CAME OVER AND-"

***

Sparkling chuckled as Pomegranate stepped up to the bar. "Wow, I thought you were done for the day."

"Hell no, Sparks. I thought you knew me better than that!"

"How'd the whole 'getting Licorice a boyfriend thing' work?"

"Things have been better."

"I'll bet."

"There's this cute gay guy at the flower shop though." She shook her head. "Waiting to hear from him."

"Herb?"

"What? No. Clover or something..."

"Ohhhh. Ok." He sighed in relief. "Herb is my boyfriend."

Ending it here for now