Cookie Run: Kingdom One-Shots, Head-Canons, Incorrect Quotes

O-S Kinda Gay (Teen!Poison Mushroom x Teen!Pancake)

A/N: The kids are teens in this and Poison Mushroom uses he/they pronouns because I feel like once they would be old enough to start to understand themself better, they would just identify as a very genderfluid pansexual boy. Pancake is also pan, because he was raised with two dads (Espresso and Madeleine), believes that personal connections are all that matters, and...well... there just aren't that many female options for people his age. Those are my personal ideas and it's chill if you guys don't necessarily agree. It's four in the morning where I live so... yayyyyyy-
Update: I passed out after writing the first sentence lol-

No matter how hard he tried, Pancake couldn't pinpoint the moment in his life when his sleepovers stopped being cute little playdates and started being... gay.

Was it when he was 10 and Poison Mushroom cuddled up against him as they always had, but this time felt...different? The way his friend had entwined their legs together and pulled him close in their sleep... How he felt his face heat up...

Or maybe it was when he was 12 and Gingerbrave dared Custard to kiss him? Ginger knew Custard never backed out of a dare and he chuckled and snapped a photo as the former self-proclaimed king pulled Pancake into a kiss. A real kiss, too. They both had broken away, laughing hysterically and wiping their mouths proclaiming, "Yuck!"

Perhaps it had been when he was 14, just starting to really take interest in dating, and Poise (as he called him) had grabbed ahold of his hand and cuddled into his side? There was something about the way he had whimpered and hid his face in the crook of Pancake's neck during that thunderstorm that just seemed so... lovely. Poise, a very neurodivergent human being, had been cursed with noise sensitivity, and the loud boom of the thunder had set him off that night.

The funny thing about experiencing time linearly is that, though all of those things are admittedly very gay out of context, they seemed perfectly normal in the moment. Finally, he settled on acknowledging that there was no specific instant that it happened. It had simply occurred gradually.

He sighed in contentment, his mind at ease once more. Then, a swift knock came at the door, followed by his more impatient dad swinging it open. "Pan!"

"What?!"

"Did you do your homework?!"

"Yes!"

"Your friend is at the door!"

Pancake shot up and pushed past Espresso, running to greet his guest. Espresso chuckled, floating along behind him, wearing a practiced smirk. Quickly, he turned the doorknob and yanked the door open, grinning as he saw his crush, standing nervously in all his glory.

Poise had one hand shoved deep in the pocket of the hand-sewn purple and black jacket Licorice had made him, the other nervously scratching the back of his head. Over the past year, Poison Mushroom had grown about a foot. They had always been a short kid, so it was a shock when he quickly grew to be the size of Red Velvet. (Licorice had made a discontent remark about how he would have to make them so many new clothes.)

Pancake beamed happily at his best friend, thankful that they had met when Poise had wandered away from Licorice and sat down at their campsite beside him all those years ago. Coincidentally, Licorice met (his now-husband) Clover the next day while searching for Shroomy.

As always, he looked stunning. A black, flowery sundress came down to his knees, the jacket hanging loose off one of his shoulders, bunching up around his elbow. A pair of black high tops, some silver rings, and a purple beanie completed the outfit. The hat clung loosely to the back of their head, allowing their light pink, curly afro to stick out in all directions. And, jesus, that stunning, white smile against his beautifully dark skin...

Pancake felt himself blush and stepped back, gesturing for Poise to come in. Espresso, being the fun-mom he is, snapped a picture and awed at the sight. The shorter boy nearly died of embarrassment on the spot, before quickly tugging his friend's arm and dashing back off to his room.

"LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN," called out Espresso after them. "OR I'LL HAVE MADS GO IN AND HAVE THE NEXT TALK WITH YOU BOTH! DON'T MAKE ME PUNISH YOUR FATHER LIKE THAT!"

Poison Mushroom giggled and gave him a thumbs up. "Hhhhuhhhh, no problem, 'Presso!"

"Oh, it's not you I'm worried about!"

"DAD! STOPPPP!"

Pancake pulled him into his room, before flopping on his bed face-first. He groaned in embarrassment, then rolled onto his back and stared at his ceiling, hoping his face wasn't too red.

The mattress dipped as Poise sat beside him, chuckling. "Uhhhh dude, your dads like... totally ship us, man."

"Yeahhhhh..."

"Mine do, too, though. I'm uhhh... I'm pretty sure Clover has started planning our wedding in his free time... I caught him scrapbooking wedding shit together the other day and he screeched."

"Oh man... do you know why they all want us to go out?" Pancake sat up to look at him.

"Well, I'm not sure about your parents, but mine do because I told them I have a crush on you." Despite the soothing, deep voice they developed, the constant lazy expression on his face, their weird personality, and their obsession with toxic mushrooms and other fungi, Poise had never been interested in doing drugs of any kind. That meant that he was stone-cold sober when he said that.

"I... I have a crush on you, too..." Pancake's blue eyes looked up at him in shock. He messed with his soft, blonde hair nervously. "I- uh- um- do you-? Date?" Then, before processing what he was doing, acting purely on impulse, he pulled on the collar of Poison Mushroom's jacket with one hand and gently pushed the back of his neck down with the other, pressing their lips together.

"JUST BECAUSE THE DOOR IS OPEN IS NO EXCUSE TO MAKE OUT ON YOUR BED!"

Pancake yelped and fell back in a panic, hazy minded and confused. Poise laughed his warm, comforting laugh and apologized to Espresso politely. "I believe your son was attempting to ask me out," he said with a smile. "An offer I would be extremely lucky to accept, assuming you're alright with it, Sir?"

The coffee mage stared at them for a moment, then grinned an uncharacteristically wide grin, and letting out a loud yip of excitement, yelling for Madeleine to come join him in the doorway.

Pancake groaned loudly as his dads celebrated his new relationship. Poise tugged him back up and laced their fingers together, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. That immediately undid all of his previous embarrassment and he giggled quietly to himself.

"No more sleepovers just you too, though," said Espresso in a serious tone.

"DAD!"