Smol Women

Chapter One

"He's not going to notice you, you are fucking twink." Selena's harsh voice snapped Tank out of his dreamy state.

"Oh yeah? Well, The Hoff noticed you!" Tank replied defensively.

"That's because we're dating," Selena said, staring at Tank in disbelief. "You live with us, you know this."

The Hoff could sense Selena's presence in the glorious fucking arena. The arena for fucking. And that's how he intended on using it. He was going to fuck up those Golden Knights!

Maxy Max was horny. Horny for a win. He needed to win this game for his team, goddamnit!

As warmup went on, Tank and Selena's excitement did not wane. In fact, it only grew as puck drop drew closer.

"I can feel the energy of this game in my blood, in my veins," Tank declared to everyone sitting around them. The fans nearby nodded enthusiastically, staring sideways at Tank like the passion-beast he was.

Selena rolled her eyes and said nothing, turning her attention back to the players on the ice.

Shortly after, the warmup ended, and the teams left the ice to return to their dressing rooms. Selena and Tank left their seats in search of drinks, with Selena settling for a glass of water, and Tank a pitcher of pure vodka. It is important to note that until now, Tank had never had alcohol of any sort.

The two then returned to their seats, content with their purchases, and turned their attention back to the game at hand.

Within minutes, the lights dimmed to a deep red, and loud music began to play. Highlights of previous Panthers games played on the jumbotron, and the song Yuve Yuve Yu by The HU played at full blast.

"This is my anthem! Fuck!" Tank exclaimed, grooving to the beat.

Selena cringed, "Who is DJing this game? Like, what's up with these weird songs?"

Tank smiled and pointed up to the distant DJ's booth, in the upper deck. "Áine."

Selena narrowed her eyes then let out a confused 'hm'. In the distance, she could vaguely make out the shape of her friend Áine's bobbing head as she danced to Yuve Yuve Yu.

"I am, like, so confused," Selena told Tank, who ignored her.

"Look!" He exclaimed, pointing to where the two teams had entered the ice. All around, fans stood and cheered, while throwing trash and grimy slimy objects at the Golden Knights players.

"Yeah! Hit those guys! C'mon, keep throwing!" Áine's voice came on over the intercom.

Tank cheered along, pounding his fists on the glass.

Selena shook her head in disbelief, "What is going on? This cannot be allowed. And why does everyone have trash?"

The refs were skating around the ice, waving their hands in a vain attempt to stop people from throwing more garbage. Meanwhile, players from both teams were standing on their benches in confusion, watching the mayhem unfold.

"Everyone, please, refrain from throwing objects onto the ice. Failure to comply will result in you being removed from the premises," a man's voice came on over the speakers.

Gradually, the rain of garbage relented, and the ice girls began shoveling piles of trash out through the Zamboni entrance.

"What a wild ride," Tank said gleefully.

After about twenty minutes of cleanup, the game was able to begin, and the players took to the ice.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Tank, it's starting!" Selena gasped.

The referee blew his whistle and the starting players lined up at center. Both The Hoff and Maxy Max were on the ice!