Smol Women

Epilogue

The air was warm, the sky dotted by fluffy white clouds, and the world full of midgets. Situated in a clearing dotted by elegant willow trees and blossom trees, overlooking a blue lake, people sat gathered for a glorious occasion.

White chairs filled the clearing, and those chairs were filled with well-dressed guests. Pink and white flowers burst from their bundles and filled the air with their sweet smell.

To the far, left side of the clearing, a familiar face stood hunched over a turntable. DJ Áine, dressed in her finest basketball jersey and baggy jeans. Boogie by Brockhampton played blissfully.

At the front, all eyes were on the tuxedo-fitted figure of Thomas, who stood anxiously peering around the faces gathered before him. Today he was to be married.

Beside him stood his groomsmen, and beside them stood the officiator, little miss Migbart Warren, clad in her alb, stole, and chasuble.

Suddenly Boogie faded out, replaced by the instrumental of Seven Nation Army. A black G-Wagon pulled up, decorated by flowers that matched those of the setting.

From it stepped Marianne, dressed in an elegant soft-pink gown. She was followed by a younger girl, Vanessa D'Amigo. Following them was none other than Maxy Max, in a soft-pink tux.

Rather than walk down the aisle, the trio made their way around to the back of the G-Wagon, where they opened the trunk and pulled out... a wooden wagon.

They set it on the ground, then pulled out something once more.

It was Tank Doverport.

He had survived the bomb, though he had not made it out whole. Now, he was no more than a torso and head; his limbs had been unsalvageable. The trio placed him in the wagon and handed the handle to Maxy Max, who pulled it down the aisle.

Tank was the flower girl, in this case flower boy, and spit petals out of his mouth, earning appreciative 'awww's from the friends and family gathered.

When they reached the front, he and Maxy Max stepped to the side, casting warm glances at Thomas.

Next came Marianne and Vanessa, who smiled and waved as they went— God forbid they didn't have attention for one second.

Last came Selena.

She wore a delicate lace wedding gown with an open back and lace spaghetti straps. Her hair was curled into a half-up half-down style and covered by a veil. Basically, what I'm saying is she looked prettier than any of you ugly bitches ever will, okay?

The group stood from their seats and turned to watch as she was led down the aisle by her father before being handed off to the front.

"Dearly beloved," Migbart began.

I will not repeat the entire wedding, because that's just too much.

In the end both she and Thomas said I do, and everyone cried tears of joy for the glorious couple.

~~~

The reception that night took place in a large, warmly lit white tent, filled with laughter and smiles from everyone.

As the dinner began, Vanessa stood from her seat and clinked her spoon against her glass, garnering everyone's attention.

"My boyfriend, Jimin, would like to say something," she announced.

Jimin, a Korean cutie-pie, stood up and smiled at everyone. "당신은 모두 어리 석습니다. 우리 한국인이 당신의 대중 문화를 물려 받기 시작했고 곧 우리가 당신의 정부를 물려받을 것입니다."

Nobody cheered and everyone returned to their meals.

At the head table sat Selena and Thomas, surrounded by Marianne, Maxy Max, and Tank, who sat in a highchair being spoon-fed by Maxy Max.

"Thank you, guys, so much for coming," Selena smiled at them. "It means so much."

Thomas nodded. "We would've cancelled the wedding if you couldn't make it," he said sarcastically. Selena elbowed him, and everyone laughed good-naturedly.

"I'm so glad you let me be the flower boy," Tank told them, leaning away from the spoonful of mashed potatoes Maxy Max was trying to feed him.

"You said you wouldn't come if we didn't," Selena told him.

"And I was serious."

It was Marianne's turn to say thanks. "I'm so happy you guys asked me to fly you on your honeymoon."

"Well, of course!" Thomas told her. "I couldn't think of a better pilot. It's so cool that you made it your career."

"Yup," she smiled proudly. "I even named my plane: Bermetha Bethesda Rhino."

"Okay," Selena smiled, nodding along as if the name mattered. "How's the new man?"

It had taken Marianne some time to get over Gibby— he and Theodore had died in the explosion that had claimed Tank's limbs.

Thomas had been kind enough to introduce Marianne to one of his hockey friends, Booker Leech, and the two had hit it off.

"He's great. He's actually coming along for the flight to your honeymoon," Marianne smiled.

"No, he's not," Thomas told her.

Marianne nodded, "Okay, we'll talk."

"Tank, Max, how are things with you?" Selena asked, wanting to change the subject.

Maxy Max smiled. "Good. We own petting zoo now."

Thomas raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

Tank nodded proudly, shimmying to sit up straighter, "A midget petting zoo, to be exact. Tomorrow will be our four-month anniversary since its opening, we're hoping to get our first customer."

"Huh," Selena smiled.

"What's it called?" Marianne asked encouragingly.

Tank and Maxy Max exchanged a loving glance. "Thor Dominatrix's House of Horrors," they said in unison.

"I really have no idea why nobody has gone yet," Thomas told them. "Honestly."

~~~

The rest of the night passed full of laughter and smiles, and soon it was time for the newlyweds to leave for their honeymoon. Luckily, Marianne had landed her plane right by the venue.

"Come aboard," she cheered, as the guests gathered for the send-off. At her feet stood sexy Lionblaze, her flying buddy.

Thomas and Selena climbed aboard, waving farewell to their friends and family.

Below, Maxy Max stood with Tank's stubby body in his arms. They'd agreed to housesit for Thomas and Selena while they were gone.

"We'll take good care of your place!" Tank shouted up to them.

"We do good job!" Maxy Max promised.

Knowing nothing could be falser, Thomas and Selena made their way onto the plane without looking back, with Marianne and Lionblaze following after them.

The plane flew off into the air, riding away into the starry night sky. And so, the midget-filled world continued on, just like our heroes.

Perhaps it was just his imagination, but Tank could've sworn he saw the outlines of The Hoff, Gibby, Theodore and Theo in the stars.