Smol Women

Chapter Sixteen

Let us begin with Maxy Max and Tank, the pair that surely everyone is most interested in. Their night began when they first stepped into their room, where they were greeted by a single king-size bed.

"We share?" Maxy Max observed.

Side note: Maxy Max's broken English sounds a lot like the English of someone whose first language is Russian. Maxy Max is neither Russian nor able to speak it.

"Babe... yes," Tank purred, flopping into the bed.

"Okay. What you want to do?" Maxy Max flopped down beside Tank, who promptly farted.

"Well, I was thinking..." Before Tank could finish his thought, Maxy Max leapt to his feet.

"Explore!" he exclaimed. "Yes."

Tank sat up and shook his head, "Explore your body, yeah."

Maxy Max grabbed Tank's hand and dragged him out of the room, down the hall, and into the elevator.

"Where are we going?" Tank asked, trying to pry the elevator doors open. "Let. Me. Out!"

Maxy Max laughed as he watched Tank try to force his way out of the elevator, but his laughing quickly stopped when Tank succeeded.

With a screech, the elevator jolted to a halt and the lights sparked then broke. Tank had managed to open the doors by force. Thankfully, the elevator was only about three feet above the lobby floor, so the pair hopped out, and the doors slammed shut behind them. Unfortunately, there had been a couple in the elevator with them, and they were now trapped.

"Okay. Now where?" Tank panted.

"City." Maxy Max said determinedly. "But we must pretend we not dating."

Tank halted at this. "Wait! We're dating?"

"Yes," Maxy Max smiled. "But Syrian people not like gays, like Funkhole, so we must not touch."

God, this night was gonna be so hard and irresistible for Tank.

"Okay... okay, fine," Tank sighed, feeling his butt beginning to yearn already. "Let's go, chum."

With a satisfied smile Maxy Max led the way out of the lobby and into the bustling city streets.

Around them, the streets were teeming with local shopkeepers shouting and commuters making their way through the city. Maxy Max and Tank received many funny looks, both for their complexions and their army uniforms.

"We get new clothes," Maxy Max decided.

Oh yeah, that excited Tank, a fiend for fashion.

With the help of Maxy Max's Arabic proficiency, they settled on a men's fashion store and made their way inside.

Side note: the Syrian pound to USD conversion rate is £1 to $0.00195094, so they were basically loaded.

Maxy Max settled on a simple white t-shirt and a black pair of jeans, then bought a bag to carry his and Tank's uniforms in.

Meanwhile, Tank opted for traditional Syrian garb. He wore a thawb, with a red embroidered vest over top, and a turban on his head. Paired with his heavy combat boots, of course.

"You likey?" he asked, twirling for Maxy Max.

"No," Maxy Max responded, before quickly winking.

After purchasing their new 'fits, the two men continued on down the street. It was dark now, and the night scene was coming to life.

"Dinner, methinks," Tank decided for the both of them. "Where to?"

They opted to go to a fast-food restaurant called Big Tasty Fast Food. Yummy!

Tank ordered three pounds worth of cheesy fries, while Maxy Max got some sort of hotdog with many toppings, including corn.

"Maximus, listen," Tank began through a mouthful of cheesy fries, spewing chewed up food everywhere.

Maxy Max looked up, "Not my name."

"I'm gonna be frank. I'm in love with you. I wanna marry you. So, what do you say?"

Tank said this with swagger, confidence, and honestly, cockiness. There was no way he could fail. Unless...

"No," Maxy Max said, furrowing his brow. "You crazy?"

Tank nodded, "For you, baby. So, I said, what do you say?"

"I say no," Maxy Max repeated. "We barely know each other. We meet couple weeks ago."

Tank let out a sob and began stuffing his face with the cheesy fries. "What the hell! Wait... you're just saying no to pretend we're not dating. I get it! So, you really mean yes."

Maxy Max shook his head, "No. I serious. I mean no."

The night was in shambles and looked like it couldn't get any worse. The pair finished their meals in silence, paid separately, and made their way back to the hotel in an awkward silence.

To make matters worse, when they returned to the hotel the elevator was still broken. Once amusing, it was now annoying, as they had to walk up ten flights of stairs to their room.

"I'll sleep on the floor," Tank grumbled, grabbing his pillow off the bed and throwing it onto the ground.

"We still dating," Maxy Max told Tank quickly. "But we not married."

Tank accepted this, and promptly removed all of his clothes but his socks (so therefore, no homo) and climbed into bed. He fell asleep in ten seconds flat.

Unsure what to do, Maxy Max removed his shoes and climbed into bed too, regretting his choice of buying uncomfortable jeans.

Just as Maxy Max was finally falling asleep, he felt something warm creeping along his back and legs. Tank had wet the bed.