Li Jin Qing: The one behind it all

Chapter 75

Happy holidays! 

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"Father, I want your true opinion and advice on something."

The old man opened one eye and stared at Jin Qing, who was sitting on that stool Shang Ye had sat on earlier that day. He didn't answer her except for a grunt, and closed his eyes again-- but it was an answer of permission for her to continue.

"It's a foolish thought considering all they have done to me... but, should I go back and assist the Wei?"

The old man stretched his stiff limbs as he adjusted himself on his reclining bamboo chair and made sure he was still facing the fire. It was late at night, and the only people who were awake were the old woman-- (who was tending the fire and doing some sewing), himself, and the young woman who sat beside him. "I thought you had made up your mind-- what's with the change?" he asked. "Is it something that prince told you?"

"The Wei will fall without me, and Im not sure how long would we be safe here."

"You're a girl who has never hesitated to throw yourself to the wolves if it means saving someone you love."

Jin Qing understood what he meant. "But I'm... I'm afraid and I'm prideful. I may talk about not fearing death and think about sacrificing myself to the Song so his hunt would be over, but I fear death as well as fear facing my birth parents only to tell them I didn't take revenge on their deaths."

There was a bit of silence as the old man thought about what to answer her. "Then what do you value more?" he asked. "Do you value your responsibilities as Xue Xian and as a daughter to take reins of the warhorses from behind the carriage, or do you value your freedom? Going back might mean you'll be stuck in an endless loop of taking on their problems and shouldering them."

"No, I'd hate that."

"Then the answer is no-- you shouldn't go back." He answered. "You're a smart girl. there's nothing in this world that can't be achieved with hard work and intellect. If you want to survive, there will always be a way to even if you're carrying us on your backs."

"but the people of the Wei--"

He interrupted her. "So then you're valuing your responsibilities to keep the Wei safe?"

Jin Qing felt silent.

The old woman set down her sewing. "Xin er, you're a good child, but you're trying to grasp the best of both worlds. Unless you can figure out a way to compromise the two, there's no way to reap the benefits of situations." She reached out with her free hand, her thin and wrinkled fingers closing around Jin Qing's. "And a compromise means letting a few things go."

"But I don't want to work with that idiotic emperor again."

"Then don't." The old man said matter of factly. "If he wants you to go back to the Wei and command the army, he needs to make compromises too. You can't be constantly burdening yourself and living under his terms." he chuckled, watching the creases between Jin Qing's brows relax. "You've always been a smart girl-- a girl who disliked being controlled. Understand the power you hold over him, and set your own terms."

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Shang ye flinched at the sound of a dish shattering against his feet. It was cut into three separate pieces with its contents splattered all over the wooden floor, and it was the only thing he dared to look at to avoid the seething temper of his older brother. He had never been scared of his brother, but there will always be a first to all things.

"Send a force to where she lives, right now," Xi Jian demanded his finger pointing and shaking towards the door. "I am being patient, Shang ye. I can very easily narrow down where you've gotten the information on where she is from, and I can just as easily go and pick her up myself."