Li Jin Qing: The one behind it all

Chapter 18

Jin qing sat in her carriage a few days later, heading off to the border where the Wei touches the Song.

Xue hua tried her best to stay upbeat and keep her sister company, but Jin qing never seemed to be paying attention to her. Xue hua sighed and looked out her window, her hand on her chin. She didn't blame her, the mood was dampening every attempt.

This was Xue hua's first time seeing Jin qing this gloomy.

She looked out the window and the cloth curtains and stared at the sky. Clouds loomed over as if a storm was coming. It hasn't rained in this area for a while now, and when it rains it will pour down everything it has been holding back.

"You're always looking out at the window, why?" Xue hua asked in an attempt to start a conversation.

"This place looks familiar." Jin qing replied simply.

Xue hua peeked at the view her sister had, not really understanding what she meant. It was just forests and forests and tree after tree. How can anyone distinguish between them?

"How?"

"We passed a lake an hour or two ago, a lake that borders the Song and the Wei... It sounds and seems like the place I grew up in"

"The place where the elderly couple is?" Xue hua asked

"Yes."

"And so why are you looking out? Do you want to visit them?"

"Not now. The city is at stake."

Xue hua looked back down at her hands and sighed. They have been having conversations like this the entire ride.

Jin qing was in no mood to talk. She was thinking of a million different things at once. She told the princes and her maids back at the palace that she had a plan, but the truth is, she didn't have one.

She looked up at the dark clouds and wondered what they were going to do to her. Perhaps this will be the last time she'll ever set foot in the kingdom on Wei ever again.
It would probably be for the best, she wouldn't have to worry anymore if she died. And if she died, she wouldn't have to worry about her secrets getting leaked because no one can bring the dead alive.

The carriage suddenly stopped and Jin qing looked outside.

"We're taking a break miss!" A guard shouted. "We are still a day's journey away from the border."

"Great, I'm getting up to stretch." Jin qing muttered, and eagerly got out of the carriage. Xue hua opened her mouth to stop her, but she was too late, Jin qing had already gotten out.

Jing qing breathed in the fresh air of the woods and knelt by a little stream of water, washing her hands with a handkerchief. She was lonely without the chatter of her maids, and she was too worried to pay attention to her sister.

She looked up at the storm clouds and wondered why did it have to rain now. It was as if the world was preparing to mourn her death.
Her eyes grew distant and sat on the edge of the stream and kept her thoughts to herself, just like how she has done her entire life.

Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad if she died. She can see all the people she has lost.

"Jin qing, are you alright?" Xue hua asked, sitting down next to her.

"I'm fine." Jin qing replied.

"Are you sure you want to hand yourself over to the Song? It's not too late to back out."

"Yes, I'm sure." She nodded. "The life of one for the lives of many. It's the right thing to do."

"It's the right thing to do for the country, but will it be the best thing to do?"