Laila, Spock's Granny (Book 1: Vulcan Gladiatoress and Klingon Slave)

Don't Pinch Vulcan Ears

"Laila, what is wrong with you? You must be a Klingon soul, which mindlessly crossed the new body growing in your mother's womb, while floating in space and then your Klingon soul got stuck in that Vulcan fetus, accidentally. You are Tlingansu tselsu", my dad abuses me.

"How can you say that", my mother steps in for me?

"Well, how could she let her anger take the better of her and pinch her teacher's ear? It is irrational, non-vulcan, but Klingon behavior!"

"He said my essay was full of emotion. My characters were acting without reason and logic, but displayed love and anger instead. The gakh-lok gave me the worst grade for it", I defended myself.

Author's note: a gakh-lok is a male asshole with warts on his dick.

"Watch your language, young woman", my mother scolded now.

"And you have to eliminate all emotion! How many more times do we have to tell you that", my dad yelled at me?

"Why did you have to go that far and pinch his ear? Laila?", my mother questions me with the intent to bring logic into our dispute?

"Well, Vulcan ears lend themselves to get pinched", I dryly provided the logical explanation.

"Why did you not use logic and worm yourself out by pretending your essay was dealing with earthlings and was to show what happens when emotions rule", she provided a real good excuse, but unfortunately, it was too late already?

"He would not have given me a good grade even if I'd said that", I threw in on my behalf.

"No, but he would have let you barely pass, which is much preferable to fail", my mom logically reasons.

"Argh", I say and run to my room. 'Argh, logic, when do I get it?', I scolded myself.

"There we go. Either violence or avoidance, that is her way. You cannot claim, that this is Vulcan behavior", my dad yells after me and half way asks my mom. "This cannot be a Vulcan soul occupying our daughter's body", he's trying to argument with science, or rather pseudo-science.

I slam the door of my room shut and lock it to prevent them from further bothering me.

I was mad. I was sad. I was angry. I was depressed. All at the same time. How can I get this my life working?

When I was Tlingansu telsu, the Klingon mutant, the Klingon soul, which incarnated in the body of a Vulcan girl, then I could as well play my fierce Klingon side. Pave my way with violence and brute force. When someone steps in my way, beat into them until they get out of the way or break. I had to become a fierce fighter. Fierce like a Klingon.

That was the solution fostered by my anger.

It was not that easy though. Despite being Vulcan, I loved my parents and I wanted them to be happy with me. Especially my mother. I wanted to be part of this Vulcan society and not stand at its perimeter. I wanted to make a valuable and recognized contribution. Apart from that, violence made me win, but often enough did not serve me in the long run. My mom was right, Vulcan logic did serve me better in the long run. I had to get the hang of this Vulcan logic and not let my anger consume me! I had to suppress my emotions as Vulcans do and preach.

Was that really the solution? No, it was not. The average Vulcan had a dull life, a boring life. The life of the average Vulcan was like a water channel. The water flew in a straight line at a constant speed for something like 250 years. Obviously, this let's one achieve a goal quickly and without interruptions, but where was the fun? Where was the adventure? Where was the excitement?

A Klingon's life on the other hand, was like a mountain creek. Zig-zaging down the mountain, over rocks and waterfalls, splashing and spraying over the banks and here and there collecting in calm pools. With a lifespan of 50-70 years it was much shorter, but it was interesting, exhilarating, adventurous and often enough crazy.

I could not be without emotion. Emotions made my life interesting, exhilerating and adventures. On top, there had been times when anger and violence did indeed serve me. When defending my turf or when I needed to remove big obstacles in my way for example.

I could not succeed in life without logic either though. It makes you achieve a goal quickly and without interruptions.

That was my shite dilemma. I stood at the separating junction of those two water ways and which one was the correct one? Water channel or mountain creek? Logic or Emotion? Please tell me? Nobody told me unfortunately. I did not see a solution to my dilemma and it made me even sadder and then angry again!