The Republic of Linae (Book 1)

Chapter 23: Allyson

I haven't left my room in several days. Everyday, people will deliver meals outside of my door and I won't touch them. The smell of food constantly makes me want to vomit.

It had been so much easier when that drug was flowing through my system. When the whispers were telling me things that needed to be done. I had to kill Mrs. Dylis in order to keep her from controlling me. I had to kill the Calamities to prevent them from hurting more people.

Now that I'm within my right mind, I've realized that I should have left the guardship to do their jobs. If I had, they would have been able to save more students. Instead, the guardship is trying to decipher which side has more casualties.

Puffer rests on the bed on the pillow behind me, sleeping as though there is nothing wrong with this world. His hair is going to be all over my pillow when I go to bed later, but I truly do not care at this moment. It's a comfort that he is here at all, since he mostly enjoys wandering the massive house over anything else.

I wonder what it's like to be a domesticated animal. With barely a care in the world. Puffer doesn't have to worry about anything. No political feuds, no mass murders. Just him finding the proper place to sleep in this mansion.

Someone gently knocks on my bedroom door, probably hoping that I am going to open it. I don't want to face anyone right now, though. My mother will simply look at me like I'm some sort of broken doll, like she had when I got home. My father will tell me that he's happy that I am alive and well. My brother will tell me that we had no other choice.

I don't want to hear any of that.

My bedroom door creaks open, startling me just enough to look away from the static on the television. Prince Caspian hangs in the doorway of my room, he leans against the door frame. His eyes move to the muted television on the other side of the room with his hands shoved into the pockets of his black pants. "I love this channel," he comments. "My favorite part is when the static lines sit on the screen."

A choked laugh leaves my lips. I had forgotten that Caspian had skipped school by sheer luck. Otherwise, he would have been with me in that classroom. He would have had to witness what I did.

His gaze doesn't move to me, instead staring at the large screen. "In all seriousness, I usually listen to this channel with the sound on. It reminds me of the ocean." His voice drops to a quieter tone. "Whenever I feel sad, lonely, or just like isolating the rest of the world I turn the volume up."

Silence fills my room. I think of giving a response. To tell Caspian that I turned this channel on to drown out the world. To revel in the quiet of the static television. My mouth remains sewn shut, though.

Prince Caspian looks toward the tray of food that sits at his feet. "May I come in?"

For some strange reason, a part of me doesn't want to be completely alone. Even though I don't want to talk about what happened, I don't want to sit in silence either. I've never felt that way before. "Yes," I tell him in a breathy whisper. I'm surprised that he can even hear me since the sound barely makes it to my own ears.

The prince enters the room. He approaches the sage green plush chair that typically resides in the corner of my room. Instead of sitting, though, the prince grabs the two sides and lifts it over his head. I watch as he brings the chair next to my bed, leaving a few feet of space between us.

He settles down in the chair facing the television. Caspian doesn't try to push for a conversation. I'm sure he's just content with the fact that I let him into the room.

To ensure that my family doesn't invite themselves into my room, I use my ability to gently swing the door shut. Caspian still doesn't make a comment, as if he's waiting for me to break the silence.