Chapter 51

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James's POV:

I hadn't seen Ri since I'd gotten back from the cabin but I wasn't about to stop looking for her. I entered our hotel room after clearing up and putting all of the items used to prepare our date last night into the tour bus but when I look around, I find she wasn't in there either. I had no idea what was happening or why she was in such a rush earlier. She should be exhausted, considering all the drinks she had last night but instead she seemed to be extremely panicky. I noticed her box gift I had given her was still by the windowsill but when I undo the chain to open it up, I see that she still hadn't opened today's one. Something was definitely going on but it was weird that she was avoiding me.

That's until I hear a set of footsteps and then feel a pair of hands wrap around my waist from behind and a head relax on my back. As soon as I look down at the owner's arms, I smile softly and place my hands over the top of her arms while I listen to her sigh. I had no idea what was going on but something definitely was, which is why I turn around in her arms to face her to which she looks up at me, biting her lower lip.

"What's going on, Ri?" I ask her, placing my hands on each of her hips. She shakes her head and looks down, still biting her lip so I begin to rub her sides subtly. "You can tell me. I don't want you to keep things from me."

"I don't know what to do, James," she says. "I called the girls and they showed up here and told me they'd deal with it and sort everything out but I doubt they'll be able to. Then I feel like he's going to do something to her and it'll be all my fault because I couldn't stop it but even if I try to put a stop to it, it's not like it's going to change anything because he'll only end up looking for me and hurting the two of us instead and I can't let that happen. I can't lose you," she rambles, and with each word that escapes her lips, the more confused I get.

"What are you talking about, Riles?" I question, looking down at her with concern. None of what she had just said makes any sense to me. I don't know what she's on about, let alone who she's talking about. Is it Madelyn? Aiden? I had no idea. "Riley," I probe gently, moving one hand up to her cheek. "Remember, we're like a rosebush," I tell her, sensing the panic striving through her right now. "You can prick me all you like but I'm never going anywhere," I recite, beginning to choke up in my throat as I watch her face begin to crumble.

"Your family is more important to you than I am, James," she says. "I can't let Piper get hurt," she whispers. "I need to go. I need to leave here before it's too late and he finds me. It's the only way I can stop him from hurting both your sister and I." I stare at her as she stares up at me and I shake my head, taking her hands into mine. I couldn't let her go. Not now. Nothing's making sense right now.

"Riley," I say, pressing my forehead against hers. "Don't. Don't close up all over again. You were only just beginning to sparkle and I need you to keep going. I can't let you block me out again," I say. She closes her eyes tightly as I look down at her, my hands squeezing her own. "Talk to me. Please, sweetheart, just tell me what's happening."

Just as I say that, there's a knock on the door. I don't move but keep my eyes glued on my girl as her breathing begins to hitch as if she was scared. Her grip on my palms tightens so I look at her confusedly but as soon as the door opens to reveal who had knocked, she sighs at the sound of their voice. It clearly wasn't whoever she had thought it was.

"James, Mr. T wants us to do a run-through for tonight's show. Is everything okay?" Luke asks. I look up from Riley and bite my lip before nodding.

"Just give me a minute," I mumble but as soon as I say it, Riley shakes her head.

"He'll be right there," she speaks up. Luke nods his head and shuts the door, leaving us alone again while my eyes go back to Riley and I scan her facial expressions down to her fidgety mannerisms with her fingers. I was beginning to worry now. 

She was acting different, not like she was last night or the day before that. She wasn't even the slightest bit close to how she had been acting this morning either. This morning she was panicky, sure, but she still had a smile on her face and was all merry and bright. Now she seemed to be on the verge of a panic attack and I couldn't understand why. She'd completely blocked me out now and I can't find my way inside.

"You need to go, James," she tells me as her breathing hitches again. She was whispering but her voice cracks midway. "And so do I. I can't . . . I can't keep pulling you along with me. I can't hurt your family more than I've been hurt and most importantly, I can't bring you down for much longer. I can't do this anymore, Jay."

"Do what? You've done nothing but make me fall in love with you, babe, okay. If I've done something wrong, tell me. If there's something I should know about then just-"

"James," she cuts me off, letting out an exhale as another familiar tear rolls down her cheek. It had become a pattern now. It starts with worry, then it turns to panic, and it ends in tears. But this time it seemed different. Normally, I'd be able to get through to her. I'd be able to understand her and she'd trust me enough to tell me exactly how she was feeling. But it wasn't working this time. "No," she mumbles looking down at her hands as her ring touched my finger. One of the rings I'd put into the boxes that had the word 'forever' engraved around it. Both of our eyes stared at it. I knew what was happening. But I can't let it. I can't lose her. I won't. "I love you . . . so, so much. You've shown me what true love is and I couldn't be more grateful for that," she begins to say as I violently shake my head.

"Why does this sound like a goodbye?" I ask, bringing my eyes back up to meet her own. She looks into my pupils again and licks her lower lip. "Why does it sound like you're leaving me?"

"James . . ."

"No, Riley," I say fiercely, shaking my head at her. I had tears in my own eyes now and my throat had tightened. "You can't leave me. Don't leave, okay. Whatever it is, we can work through it together. You and me," I say. I peck her lips lightly and then pull away to look at her. She didn't seem satisfied so I kiss her again and again and again but it doesn't work. She takes a step away from me and shakes her head so that her hair fell in front of her face. "Riley," I cry, sniffing. She does the same, still holding onto my hands. "Please . . . Don't do this."

"I have to-"

"After everything?" I ask her. She was being ridiculous. She can't be doing this right now. "After everything you and I have been through? Our dates. Our kisses. Sleeping in the same bed. Meeting each other's friends. All the songs I wrote about you. Showing you what love is. Protecting you. Us dancing with each other. We've had sex together twice, Riley. And last night . . . when we did it in the cabin . . . you were the one on top of me. You were the one who showed me your way. And now . . . now you just want me to forget about it all?"

"That's not what I'm telling you to do, James!" she whisper yells, stepping forward once again. "I want you to remember those. And I'm not saying this is the end-"

"But you're breaking up with me?" I question her. It was like déjà vu. It was happening all over again. On the night of my performance, just like Madelyn did. What hurts more is that she knows this has all happened to me before. Riley knows everything. She knows me better than I know myself. But she's still choosing to do this to me.

"You need to leave, James," she whispers, ignoring my question. I guess her avoiding my question had its own answer. "The band are waiting for you," she says. I stare at her, completely heartbroken. I let go of her hands and shake my head, nudging her shoulder as I pass her and i rush out of there, closing the door shut behind me and leaving her alone.

Was this the end?
Was that the last time I'd see her?
Had I just lost the girl I love the most for good . . . ?

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