Bts sickfics, hurt & comfort

Ship Wars (Jimin & Jungkook)

tw: body shaming, references to eating disorders & issues with self-esteem.

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Jungkook's POV.

"Hyung, what does ship mean?I thought it meant a boat but they seem to use it as a verb..." had asked Jungkook one day. That was back in 2013 when they didn't have a lot of foreign fans yet. Now he was used to seeing posts about them in English, and he also knew what the word meant. The members had learned to stay away from that side of their fandom, and even if they teased each other a bit when they did fall upon a shipping account, they mostly ignored the comments. Some fans had sometimes gotten close to the truth and it amused them, but others were simply delusional. It wasn't always easy. As they got more popular, their schedules grew busier and their fans grew in numbers. That just meant that they had less energy to put into controlling their image, yet they needed to protect it more than ever and the truth would get distorted too easily. The maknae lost count of how many misleading articles were written about him or BTS. People seldom considered that side of being a celebrity, but he now understood it better than anybody else. Having grown up in front of cameras, he knew that it was too easy to give in to people's opinions and to trust their perception of yourself more than your own. Blurring the lines of stage personas and identity was always a dangerous game.

That was especially true for Jimin and Jungkook, who didn't even use different stage names and were often the fan favourites when it came to theories that shed a negative light on Bangtan. So many shipping wars. Jungkook thought it was so stupid and yet the so-called fans didn't hesitate to tarnish the members' reputation if it meant that they could prove a point. It's one thing to disagree and interpret things differently, but it's another when they start insulting and threatening one of them. Tonight, the maknae had a headache. One of the Run episodes had been released and he had made the mistake of scrolling through comments. Hundreds of them were laughing at Jimin's failed attempt to catch his attention at some point. It was now past 2 in the morning and he knew he most likely would be getting any sleep. Attention whore. Pig. Fat. Ugly. House wrecker. He couldn't believe the things they wrote about Jimin. Didn't they know him at all? Jungkook really thought that after all these years they would have realised that he was the kindest soul he'd ever known, and the most selfless person in the group. Sure, his tiny hyung had an impressive temper from time to time, but nothing that came close to deserving this kind of insults.

It was around 3 when Jungkook realised that they were coming for him because of ship wars that implied him. Their fans were fighting on Twitter and clearing the searches. He blinked against the bright screen and looked more into it. They're trying to tweet positive things about him so that we don't see it. He smiles at the sweet gesture but it's bittersweet. They ship him with his youngest hyung and he knows that they're supposed to be harmless theories, but truth be told he barely hung out with the man in the past year, in part because of the self-consciousness and pressure they both felt. The two used to be so close and to be honest Jungkook is sad at the loss. He wonders if he'll have a chance to speak with him during their shooting of In the Soop next month. That would be nice. He's not dating Taehyung -and makes a face at the idea, but if he were there's no way Jimin would purposefully hurt one of them that way. They're in their mid-twenties and bandmates too, why do the fans think he'd be childish enough to act out in front of the cameras if there was a problem. Let's hope Jimin hasn't been reading these.

Some comments catch his attention and he widens his eyes in disgust. He has to look away after reading what someone said they'd do to him... That's too far, way too far. Minutes passed and he lost count of how many replies and posts he reported. He could hear Namjoon snoring softly and he knew he should be getting some sleep, but even after he closed his phone, the thoughts wouldn't stop coming. So he started scrolling again. Jungkook clicks on the clips he sees and he doesn't even turn the volume up to know what they're about. Once again he finds himself feeling bad at his subconscious body language because it seems to be the cause for today's insults and threats. It doesn't take long before he's fully convinced that he's to blame for the theories and attacks that are thrown at them. "Jungkook clearly hates him", he reads. He thinks back to every time he didn't smile or laugh at Jimin's jokes, or god forbid the moments when he ranked his hyung last or physically pushed him away. He's burning under the conflict in his mind. Is that who Jungkook the artist is? Cold and heartless doesn't seem to be the person he wants to be, but then again that's what the fans seem to see in him. Is that person the same Jungkook he is off stage? They seemed to think that he was. He was disappointed in himself.