i'd be a fool not to love you

part seventeen - spiderman

i woke up the next morning with mascara all down my face. i really didn't want to get up.

it was a saturday today, meaning no school. i honestly didn't really know what to do. i love- loved peter parker. and now i'm not even a part of his life.

i made myself look slightly presentable and went downstairs, when i saw that may was with jules, having breakfast.

"hi olivia" she said to me and so did jules
"hi may, jules" i said but i didn't look at them, just started to make breakfast

"what's wrong love?" jules asked

"nothing" i waited for my toast to come up

"olivia, there's obviously something going on, something besides ben."

"no. there isn't. now will you stop asking?"

"ok. sorry." she said as i buttered my toast

i walked back upstairs with my toast and began to eat in bed.

i overheard jules and mays conversation

"it's about peter i think, may"

"what do you mean?"

"last night, olivia couldn't stop crying after she'd seen him"

"speaking of, he's been acting strange ever since ben died. for example he's never at home, never helps out with anything, doesn't see anyone, and now this with olivia. i thought he really cared about her, i don't understand what's going on"

"neither do i, and i don't think she does either."

i stopped listening after that, because that's when something caught my eye out of the window.

oh.
peter.

i did think about going to ask if he was okay but decided it would probably be best to just let whatever was going to happen, happen.

—

it was now monday, which meant i had school, great.

the whole weekend consisted of watching movies in my room and doing homework. i can't remember the last time i actually did homework alone, i usually did it with peter.

anyway, i decided that from now on i wouldn't thunk about peter anymore. and i had a feeling it was going to be hard.

as i went downstairs for breakfast, jules had the news on.

"the sightings of this webbed creature seems to be increasing. many new york citizens have reported feeling safe knowing that spiderman is out there, but many feel threatened. it also appears that this- this thing - targets men with shoulder length blonde hair. that's all from me today folks, over to leanna for the weather.
j. jonah jameson out." the reporter said

"who's he talking about jules?"

"spiderman. he's this man- or so we're led to believe - who catches criminals"

"oh. right. and he's on our side?"

"supposedly"

"ok well i've got to get to school now, love you. bye."

"i love you too, bye" she said as she watched me leave

i wore black converse, a green hoodie with a shirt underneath with a retro design on the front.

i plugged my earphones into my phone, playing "heaven knows i'm miserable know" by the smiths.

i walked out of the street, glancing back at the parker's house, to see if peter was looking out of the window. but he wasn't.

i was happy in the haze of a drunken hour
but heaven knows i'm miserable now
i was looking for a job, and then i found a job
and heaven knows i'm miserable now

i walked past a boy, skateboarding, and my mind immediately went to peter. one time when i went round after school he let me use his skateboard out on our street, and i almost fell. then he taught me a couple of things to do with balance, since mine wasn't so good. that was a happy memory. but i promised myself i wouldn't think about peter, so that's what i was going to do.

in my life
why do i give valuable time
to people who don't care if i live or die?

then, a young couple walked past me, holding hands- and then i couldn't stop thinking about what could've been for me and peter. then i snapped out of it- was was i thinking? he didn't like me. and he never had. so i seriously needed to stop.

two lovers entwined pass me by
and heaven knows i'm miserable now
i was looking for a job, and then i found a job
and heaven knows i'm miserable now
in my life,
oh why do i give valuable time
to people who don't care if i live or die?

then i took my earphones out, because i felt a weird presence above me, as i was walking through the new york streets. i looked around, and couldn't see anyone looking directly at me.

weird i thought