I Never Loved You - Johannie Story

Chapter 14 - Maybe It Is What It Seems Like

Maybe It Is What It Seems Like

~ Annies Perspective ~

Johnny and I have been cuddling for about an hour and the movie was still playing. My mind was still on Johnny though, I wanted to make him— not upset. I mean I want to try having sex with him but I've never slept with him...wellingly— I don't even remember how the last time was. But I do know sex helps Johnny so I thought I'd try it.

My hand slowly went to Johnnys dick as I felt him freeze. "Annie..." Johnny mumbled. I ignored him and got on his lap as I started to kiss him. Although, he didn't kiss me back I kept going for a few more minutes. After realizing that he was never going to kiss me back I pulled away. "What?" I questioned at why he wasn't kissing me back.

"Are you trying to have sexual with me right now?" He questioned with a carious face. "Maybe, but I can't do it if you don't kiss me back" I muttered the last part, kinda annoyed. Was it possible for Johnny to loose feelings in a few minutes?

"I umm I don't feel like having sex right now..." he mumbled before pulling me off him. But my only reaction was to stare at him with a blank look. "Since when do you not feel like having sex?!" I responded with a slight angry tone. The one time I want to willingly sleep with him he doesn't want too? On top of that he has no problem having sex with other girls but when we're talking and I want to sleep with him he doesn't want too.

"It's not—

I cut Johnny off by pulling away from us cuddling "seriously" I blurted out. At this point I knew I was being selfish and it was wrong but a part of me was jealous that other girls had sex with him several times while I don't even remember sleeping with him.

"...I need some air...I'll be in Lauren's dorm" I stated before leaving mine and Johnnys dorm. When I got to Lauren's dorm, she was alone watching television before she had answered the door. "Hey.." I say as she moves away to let me in "hey" she replied back.

"What's up"

It took me a few seconds to answer the question, while I sat on the couch "Johnny..." I muttered not making eye contact with her. "He's upset and I don't know why"

Lauren sat next to me as she grabbed the remote and paused the show she was watching "did you try having sex" she responded trying to keep her serious face, but I could tell she was on the verge of laughing. "Yeah, he wouldn't let me" I commented shooting her a glare. Her expression suddenly changed to confuse "since when does Johnny not want to have sex" she questioned.

"I don't know, that's what I said to him and he said he wasn't in the mood"

I rolled my eyes at his response coming out of my mouth. "Maybe he really wants to try having a real relationship with you, and you guys aren't dating yet so I guess you just have to give him time" Lauren commented. She wasn't wrong though, I was being over dramatic about the situation...

But that leads me to the beginning...I don't want Johnny to be upset...it makes me sad, and I still don't know what I'm going to do to make him feel better. "Yeah...I guess you're right" I stated before looking back at Lauren "anyways, where's your boyfriend" I asked. Lauren and Carson were always together so it was weird not seeing him around here.

"He's getting some Starbucks for me" she answered as I made a aww face. Lauren shot me a glare.

We talked for about an hour or two before I decided to go back to my dorm. By now I knew exactly how to make Johnny feel better so I was feeling pretty good— until I had opened the dorm door.

At first I couldn't believe what I was seeing, I hoped that it was another misleading situation, but this time I knew better.

I watched at Johnny got on top of the half naked girl and passionately kissed her. He was in his boxers and allowed the girl to slip them off, revealing everything. She was about to put his dick in her mouth and Johnny was holding the back of her head, brushing her hair until he had looked up and locked eyes with me.

There was no point what I was feeling, I was already in tears and more dropped as he finally saw me. It's like my heart sunk and all I felt was— numb.

I thought I would be easier to go through a heartbreak this time around considering that Jordan cheated on me too...but this was way more painful. "...I-I t-thought y-you w-weren't i-in t-the m-mood...." I manage to stutter between the tears in my eyes. Johnny immediately pulled a cover over his naked body and so did the girl.

Although he was still staring at me, he didn't reply to my question. There was so much I was feeling at this moment, a part of me was even embarrassed. I slammed the door and walked away from the dorm as the tears kept streaming down. I didn't want to go to Lauren's because she was having a good time with her boyfriend, and Jayden and Conner are probably having sex right now...so I went to one other person....hoping that I wouldn't regret it.

The second I knocked, he opened the door as he saw tears streaming down my face. He immediately gave me a weird look before he had let me in "what's wrong" he asked as he shut the door behind him. I looked down, not wanting to reply to his question...I just wanted a place away from Johnny where I could go. I think Jordan understood that considering that he left the question alone and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a hug.

We stayed like that for a few more minutes until I pulled away. The tears slowly stopped but the pain got worst as I processed what was happening with Johnny. "I know you don't want to tell me what's wrong but I want to help you and I can't do that if you don't tell me what's going on" he whispered in a low tone.

I sighed, looking away from Jordan and finally opening my mouth "I-I umm...I tried to have sex with Johnny but he pushed me off...and a few hours later I walked in on him having sex with another girl..."

As I said that out loud the tears came streaming back down. "H-He didn't even look sorry that I had walked in on t-them" I added as I sat on the couch that was behind me. I kept my head down because I didn't want Jordan to see me being pathetic over a guy everyone knew I couldn't have a relationship with.

Jordan sat next to me and pulled me back into his arms "he must be really stupid to cheat on you" Jordan stated as I stayed in his arms. I didn't bother commenting the fact that he also cheated on me because he was the one helping me right now.

"But I need to apologize before I keep comforting you" he blurted out pulling away. I really hoped it wasn't more bad news because I can't handle anymore. I looked up at Jordan waiting for him to continue.

"I'm sorry I forced myself on you after class ended, I know Johnny did that too you and you fell in love with him so I thought I'd I tried it you'd fall back in love with me...I know it's stupid but I really miss you"

I stayed silent just staring at him. It took me a minute to respond to what he had said "If you really loved me why'd you cheat..." I mumbled. Jordan sighed, his hand was still in my thigh and he began to open his mouth again before taking a breath.

"I know it was wrong and if I could go back in time I would of never done it" he stated before taking a small pause "after we hit our three year mark of dating you stoped spending time with me, you either studied or hung out with friends and I felt left out...so my friends called a girl over to my house...and I used her has a distraction from you."

I looked down knowing damn well that I became distant. "But I love you...a lot..." he added as he stared into my eyes. I imagined getting butterflies but it didn't happen. I mean I did care about Jordan, a lot, but not in a romantic way...I loved Johnny...

"I'm sorry...But I'd be lying if I said I didn't still love Johnny" I mumbled. "I understand..." he mumbled removing his hand off my thigh and looking away.