River of sin

34. Am I looking for a ghost

Jacob soothed his sister back to sleep for the eighth time that night, exhausted himself he wasn't sure how much longer he could go on like this. His rampage for revenge fuelled by his anger and heartache had as he promised rained down hellfire on his enemies. Sullivan on the run, his business' now under the Evans family control taken by force or simply burned to the ground. Yet he was no closer to being reunited with Yvonne and his daughter, that he had only held once. Grief and guilt over the loss of his sister that he did not put things right with was eating away at him, contradicted by the anger he still had towards her. Unable to forgive her for her betrayal but mourning her still the same. He still loved her and he never got to tell her that. His brothers told him that she knew. That she knew the gifts he sent for her children were from him. That the extra pay in her husbands pay packet was him. That the reserved best meat in the butchers to ensure his niece and nephews ate well, was him.

He sat at the back of the funeral with Betty that morning, in a trance. His mind fixated on the other places he could be. Where else he could look that hadn't already. How many more bodies he'd have to check when they washed up, that would turn out not to be her.

"She will settle soon" Danny's wife Trudy smiled sympathetically at Jacob when he yawned his way down the stairs, offering him a cup of tea.
"Thank you, you're a diamond. Little Peggy up too?" He asked looking over his youngest niece.
"Just fed her. You wanna have a hold?"
Jacob shook his head sitting by the fire. "I appreciate your help with Betty. I know it's a lot to ask. You have your hands full. Times like this I wish Gran was still here. She'd know what to do."
"We all miss her......she was asking about your ma again." Trudy took a seat
"I know. It's a conversation I was dreading but I knew it would come. I am not sure how to break the news that our ma did herself in because she was ashamed of her. She wouldn't even look at her, or hold her."

"Your dad...."
"Screwed us all over. Yet, she loved him, it's why she was fooled by him. He was after money and that's all. He bled us dry and then left us peniless to go back to his new wife. Ma didn't even know he remarried. The shame of being the other woman. Having Betty out of wedlock. Despite having the same father as us. When that tart turned up on our door telling her she was married to him and he wasn't coming back, slapping her for sleeping with her husband. Calling her a whore among many other things. Ma was already heartbroken. It was the final straw. She was a very religious woman you know. She was the best of us, Gran determined to break the cycle, create better lives for us with my ma's help. Make sure the Evans boys turned out right. Better men than our predecessors. Well better husbands at the very least, can't take the Evans blood out of us." He chuckled "then she gets knocked up by a married man out of wedlock. I swear if he shows his face...."
"You are not your father, Jake" Trudy lent forward rubbing his hand "we know that. Your brothers know that."
"I would have wanted to save her from the shame, Trudy. She's a good girl my Evie. I ruined her reputation and left her in a state of disrepute."
"Technically she left you and it takes two to tango" Trudy laughed along with him

"I believe her. What she said to you in front of Sullivan, she said to protect you and her daughter, the boys and Betty even. I only met her a few times but you could tell by the way she looked at you that she was hopelessly in love with you. That night....after the business deal at the black swan. I could tell she was a virgin, Jacob. Rachel told her that if she loved you, she wouldn't be offering herself up to other men. Asked her to leave you alone. Told her that you'd soon be bored with the excitement of fucking a Barnes. That a Barnes would never be welcome in this family. Said her brother deserved more than a whore for a wife. That you were only interested in her because she was a Barnes, that if she didn't carry the name you wouldn't have even looked twice at her. That she weren't your type."
"Well that's a load of bull. Didn't look at her like that when she was sixteen but I was drawn to her, just not physically speaking. She needed to catch up a little."

"Quite. When Rachel left the room. She looked at me and said I wish I didn't love him but I can't stop. I've tried. She told me she'd loved you since she first met you. She said the night on the bridge was when she knew she was in trouble. She was drawn to you like a moth to a flame from the second you met. She would have come back to you, Jacob. I believe that with my whole heart. A woman's life is hard. It is not as simple as leaving her brother to return to you. Paperwork, travelling alone as a woman let alone a pregnant one, an unwed mother. money, travelling across the world ain't cheap, she would not have written to you in fear of her correspondence being intercepted, both for her safety and her child's, but also yours, Jacob. Can you imagine if Barnes discovered you'd knocked his daughter up and not married her."
"If I'm honest. I would have liked to see his face when he found out, I am gutted I missed it. I was looking forward to seeing him for the first time after we married behind his back." The pair laughed "he knows I'm alive by now Trudy, he'll know those kill shots would be easy for her, she's a better shot than bloody me......am I looking for ghost?"
"Do not give up, if Yvonne has shown us anything it is that she is smart, determined and a fighter, a survivor. at the end of the day she's a Barnes. Barnes know how to...." she snapped her eyes to the sound of someone outside.

"Should I wake Danny?" Trudy asked worriedly when there was a knock on the door, "it is gone two in the morning!"
"Take Peggy upstairs, wake Danny, make sure Betty don't come down." Jacob drew his gun, waiting for his brother.
"State your business" Danny called through his front door
"Jacob Evans" a woman's frightened voice spoke up "please I'm unarmed." She pleaded
Jacob opening the door
"Mr Evans sir" the scruffy woman curtsied
"What do you want?" Jacob asked annoyed "its two in the morning!"
"I have something for you from Evie"
Jacob held his gun out aiming it at the woman
"Please sir....here" she unwrapped her shawl "she gave me this street name but no number. I saw the light on."
"Maggie!" Jacob dropped his gun to the floor instantly scooping up his daughter

"The woman. Evie. She told me you'd pay me for my troubles."
"Where the fuck is she!" Jacob grabbed the woman's neck "tell me where she is or I'll snap your ruddy scrawny neck! Did you harm my child!"
"No no. No mr Evans sir no. She did give her to me and told me to bring her to you she did, a man dragged her away in a car. I saw. Dragged her along the ground by her hair he did! She was in a state she was. Covered in blood, no shoes on. She could barely walk. I did go to help her, she told me to bring her to you, to run, I took the child and ran, I did. I could hear them coming, she begged me to run and leave her, she could barely walk let alone run the poor thing."
"Where?" Danny held up some pound notes, whipping them away when she went to take them "where?"
"Outside that big library with the stone statue out front. I did walk here I did! All the way!"
"Away with you. Keep your mouth shut understood!" Danny shoved the notes in her dress pocket, shoving her away.