River of sin

37. She's petrified of me

Once at the acquired manor they had taken possession of in their rampage of revenge, Jacob sped off in search of a doctor, bringing one back with a nurse in tow, guns pointed at their heads, ordering to do as he said. He paced outside Yvonne's room while Trudy and Edna supervised. He paid the doctor for his services, demanding he returned daily until told otherwise and paid him extra for his silence.

Jacob spent day and night by her bedside with Trudy's help. He never left the room, only to use the connecting bathroom. Maggie in with them, who was slowly getting used to him, happier to be near her mother again.
"Jacob?" Yvonne stirred in the bed, grimacing, waking Jacob from his light sleep in the chair next to her bed.
"Evie? Evie!" He fumbled over "hello little darling. You are finally fully awake. I have been waiting impatiently. Doc said it might be today or tomorrow. Took you off what ever he had you on to keep you still so you'd heal faster. This head wound knocked you out for a while. He said it was best you laid perfectly still."
"Maggie?"
"Sound asleep in her cot" he nodded at the end of the bed "she is safe now. You are both safe."
"Jacob I...they...."
"Shush....I know" he held her hand, placing his head on hers "I know, little darling. It's alright. It will be alright. Look at me. You hold no shame in my eyes. They hold the shame not you. I love you. Regardless. I love you. You're still my girl. Jacob Evan's girl, a phrase I never thought I'd say again until I met you. You've held the title the longest by a country mile already."
"Where are we?" She asked trying to look around
"A manor. In the countryside. For now it is our home. Your eyes are less swollen today. Can you see me?"
"Just about, you are blurry" she smiled sadly through the pain

Jacob's heart broke at the sobs that Yvonne was desperately trying to stop, each tear and jolt causing her more pain. He held her head close to his, crying along with her.
"I have you now" he whispered in her ear "everything will be alright and I will make him pay. I promise you, little darling I will make him pay." He turned her head to kiss her, disheartened when she turned away, refusing. "I love you. I will never hurt you. You can trust me, Evie. Evie?" He asked trying to get her to look at him."Evie, please"
"Give it time, Jacob." He turned to see Trudy watching him "go eat. It's an order."
"I give the orders around around here. Bring the food up."
"I'm your sister in law not your servant. Go get your own damn food. Go on. Don't make me get Danny!"
"I'm not leaving her side!"
"You'll wake the baby! Quieten down!" Trudy scolded, closing the door

"now you listen to me, Jacob Evans." Trudy pulled him away forcefully, surprising him "you may be the boss around here, but right now you need to be a husband and father. Understood. I'm going to get her out of bed, into the tub."
"I can do that, as you just said I am practically her husband. She has nothing I have not already seen! We have a daughter together for Christ sake, I would have thought that obvious! You are not one to get on your high horse considering you and Danny had a shotgun wedding yourselves!"
"Jacob!" Trudy focussed his face "leave this to the women. Until she asks for you. You do not know what it is like to be a woman. To be lorded over by a man, to be pinned down and powerless beneath one. To be violated in such a way as she has. Repeatedly, Jacob! She will need time. I know you want to comfort her. I know you want her close. To pick up where you left off."

"She's scared of me. That is what you are saying. Because I am as bad as them! That once she's on her feet I'm gonna lose her anyway because I'm just like the men that did this to her."
"No. It is not......I am saying it is like......like your war memories. The way Danny clenches his jaw and fist at the sound of a car back firing, without realising it. How you wake at night, scared, the big hard man, the boss, the most feared Evans brother, turned into a scared little boy. I have heard you myself, Jacob Evans, screaming, calling out, crying tears! Just like my Danny does. When he wakes in a sweat, unable to catch his breath. He woke once with his hands around my neck, did he tell you that? He cried like a child and called things off between us. He could not even look at me. We all have our demons we are fighting. Her demons are fresh in her mind, her demons were men. You are a man."
"So were mine" Jacob growled "she knows she can trust me!"
"Of course she does! But you let her come to you. Trust me. She will. She will ask for you. She will come to you but if you force it before she is ready you will push her away. So go and eat. So you are strong enough to fight the demons. The ones that still live and the ones in her mind. In her body where she will still feel them. Understand? She is too weak to fight them on her own, she needs you at your best."

Jacob nodded, walking over to a sniffling Evie. "My little darling? I am going to eat and sort you and the baby some food. You call for me and I will come. Would you like me to carry you to the bath? Her injuries, Trudy, she will not be able to...." He went to remove her blanket, Evie letting out a scream. Jacob scrambling back in shock. Danny running in swiftly.
"Jacob! Brother! Come with me." He pulled Jacob away, holding his neck firmly trying to get him to look away "Jacob!" He forced him out of the room. Harrison swooping in to take Maggie who had woken up, the other women rushing in to help Trudy.
"She's petrified of me, Danny" Jacob starred at the sobs and screams coming from behind the closed door.
"She is scared of everything." Danny pulled his brother in, patting his head "trust me. My Trudy knows what she's doing. I was not the one to take her innocence, Jacob."

"She's no saint. You think I don't know she had men before you? We are not ones to judge unless she was more horizontal than vertical! What's that got to do with...."
"Of course she did! As I had other women! The man I got into a brawl with and shot dead. At the race track. It was not unprovoked, Jacob! He was the man that pinned my Trudy down when she was only sixteen years of age and forced himself on her, took her innocence. So trust her, she knows what she is doing."
"I didn't know" Jacob softened
"Only me and her parents know. And Gran, not much the old bat didn't know." he chuckled with his brother "even now, Jacob, he slips into her mind when I am with her. Not all the time, not often at all, but when he does she looks at me with fear in her eyes. You wait for her to come to you, you let her know you are there, waiting. You do all the little things to prove she is safe with you. You fight her demons with her. Talk to Trudy if you want advice. She said she did not mind. There's a reason why she took to your Mrs easily after that night in the black swan, why she showed more compassion than Rach. She saw the same fear in her eyes that she knows well herself, she came to me that night and told me, 'that girls genuine, Danny. You can't fake the fear in her eyes. She loves him. Jacob's got a fight on his hands if Rachel don't come round.'"
"She betrayed my girl even when she offered an olive branch and tried to help her. poor Betty, she keeps asking me why Rach left her behind. He made sure little Betty knew her own sister threw her to the wolves to save her own skin. I feel useless." Jacob placed his hand on the closed door, fighting back his tears.
"I know, brother. Come on little poppet, let's get you fed" Danny took Maggie off Harrison "I expect discretion Harry, for Trudy and Yvonne."
"Didn't hear nothing" he shrugged