⁅𝟱.𝟭⁆ 𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 ➣ {𝕥•𝕠} ❘ [𝖗𝖆𝖌𝖓𝖆𝖗𝖔𝕶 - 𝖊𝖌 𝖝 𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗]

˗ˏˋ𝟭𝟬ˎˊ*•.[𝗝𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺] ࿐ྂ｡

☄. *. ⋆

Valkyrie made the front door open, revealing Loki— restrained as anyone could be, sitting in the middle of the apartment with a dozen chains around him. 

"Surprise," the God of Mischief greeted you all in a monotone manner.

Runa narrowed her eyes at him, wondering what he had done now to get himself restrained like that. Following into the apartment after you, Thor picked up an empty can and tossed it at his brother, making it bounce off Loki's head. 

"Ow!" Loki glared at him.

"Just had to be sure," Thor defended.

Bruce walked in last, tuggin the cloth of the pants between his legs as he eyes Loki wearily.

"Hello, Bruce," Loki smiled at him.

"So, last time I saw you, you were trying to kill everybody," the scientist said, "Where are you at these days?" 

"It varies from moment to moment," 

Bruce was thoroughly taken aback, his eyebrows raising to his hairline as he hurried away to the kitchen.

Valkyrie laid something on the bed. She unwrapped it to reveal an Old Asgardian sword.

"Is that— a Dragonfang?" Thor's eyes widened in wonder.

"It is," the warrior replied.

"My God," he picked up the blade, gazing down at it in admiration, "This is the famed sword of the Valkyrie,"

"So, Sakaar and Asgard are about as far apart as any two known systems," Valkyrie started, "Our best bet is a wormhole just outside the city limits. A nice clean wormhole outside the city. Refuel on Xandar and be back in Asgard in around 18 months," she monologued, looking at you for confirmation.

"Nope. We're going through that one," Thor pointed at the nightmare tornado wormhole over the ocean of junk far beyond the city.

"The Devil's Anus?" Valkyrie questioned.

"Anus?" Bruce voice came muffled as he helped himself with the food in Valkyrie's kitchen, "Wait—wait—wait, whose anus?"

"That's what it's called?" Runa cringed, recalling how Vandil mentioned it as 'the big one'.

"For the record, I didn't know it was called that when I picked it," Thor responded.

"That looks like a collapsing neutron star inside of an Einstein- Rosen Bridge," Bruce walked forward to get a closer look.

"We need another ship," you spoke, taking the botte from Valkyrie when she offered it to you, "That would tear our to pieces," you took a long sip from it.

"She's right," Thor nodded, "We need one that can withstand the geodetic strain from the singularity,"

"And has an offline power steering system that could also function without the on-board computer," Bruce added.

"And we need one with cup holders, because we're gonna die," Valkyrie caught the bottle when you tossed it to her, "So, drinks!"

"Do I know you? I feel like I know you," Bruce told her.

"I feel like I know you, too," Valkyrie chuckled, "It's weird,"

"What do you say ?" Thor spoke to Bruce, "Uncharted metagalactic travel through a volatile cosmic gateway. Talk about an adventure," 

Thor held up a fist as Bruce met it halfway in a high-five.

"We need a ship," Bruce seemed determined.

"Need a ship," Thor nodded; both the men headed towards where you, Runa, and Valkyrie were gathered.

"All of the ones in the Grandmaster's garage won't make it through," you deduced, "Although, there are one or two ships," 

Valkyrie nodded, "Absolute top-of-the-line models—"

"I don't mean to impose—" Loki interrupted.

But he was cut short when Valkyrie hurled the bottle in her hand at him. The glass smashed into the wall behind him, causing him to flinch.

"—But the Grandmaster has a great many ships," Loki carried on, "I may even have stolen the access codes to his security system,"

"And suddenly you're overcome with an urge to do the right thing," Valkyrie rested her hands on her hips with a suspicious look.

"Heavens, no. I've run out of favour with the Grandmaster," he replied, "And in exchange for codes and access to a ship I'm asking for safe passage—through the anus,"

 Bruce was shaking his head discreetly, signalling the others that it was risky to believe him. 

"Please stop saying 'Anus'," Runa screwed her eyes shut and shook her head to remove a mental image from her mind.

"You're telling us you can get us access into the garage without setting off any alarms?" Thor inquired, 

"Yes, brother. I can," Loki replied, quite smoothly.

"Okay, can I just—" Bruce gather you all to stand in a circle with a whistle, "A quick FYI, I was just talking to him just a couple minutes ago and he was totally ready to kill any of us,"

"He did try to kill me," Valkyrie announced.

"Oh, he's tried to kill me in the past," You turned to spare a glare at Loki and received an innocent smile in return.

"Yes, me too," Thor nodded with you all, "On many, many occasions. There was one time when we were children, he transformed himself into a snake, and he knows that I love snakes. So, I went to pick up the snake to admire it and he transformed back into himself and he was like, 'Yeah, it's me!' And he stabbed me. We were eight at the time,"

Bruce gave Loki an alarming look as the God of Mischief smiled to himself.

"Oh!" Runa exclaimed as you suppressed your own laugh, "I remember that!"

"If we're boosting a ship, we're gonna need to draw some guards away from the palace," Valkyrie stated.

"And I've gotta get Amnesty back," you added importantly, "It's my staff," you explained to Bruce.

"Why not set the beast loose?" Loki suggested with a smirk.

You and Valkyrie gasped in awe while Runa, Thor, and Bruce had panicked looks on their faces.

"Shut up," Thor pointed a threatening finger at his brother.

"You guys have a beast?" Valkyrie chuckled, curious to hear more.

"No, there's no beast," he shut her down, "He's just being stupid. We're going to start a revolution," 

"Revolution?" Bruce repeated cluelessly.

"I'll explain later,"

"Who's this guy, again?" Valkyrie looked at Thor for an explanation.

"I'll explain later," he replied.

"Wait," you paused, blinking, "Where's Hulk?"

"I'll explain later,"

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