behind the scenes

ᵈᵃᵇⁱ'ˢ ᵖˢʸᶜʰ ˢʰⁱᵗ

Exclaimer: This is not a professional mental diagnosis, only an evaluation. I have taken three years of psychology so I will be using my own understandings and opinions based off the Dabi in my fanfic :) thank you

Backstory: 

Zihao and Hu ran around as kids taking up jobs for money. Some of these jobs included theft, trespassing, and other minor crimes. Zihao was usually the mastermind of these operations while Hu was the look out or distraction. Zihao received a better education than Hu and he was raised by his dad who was a hero, this gave him an advantage at a young age. But he lacked the street smarts and charisma that Hu had. 

Dabi appeared on the scene when Zihao was thirteen and Hu was fourteen. Dabi has been aged down in this fanfic. When he ran away from home, he already had a lot of mental issues. I mean who wouldn't?

But when he met Zihao and Hu, they were still clumsy kids who weren't the best at their job. So, he kind of took them under his wing and helped Zihao with temperature control with his quirk. This feeling of being needed really made Dabi feel good about himself. But when Zihao became more experienced and could out smart Touya, it angered him.

So, he set them up for a trap. He told them about the job he needed done and sent them on it. The anger of not being needed and not being the best weighed on him due to his father's influence. Since that was a major part of his childhood and up bringing.

He betrayed them in a sudden flash of anger, if he regrets it or not is still very finicky. Because it isn't super straight forward. His mind set is so centered on being needed and the best that it made him resort to punishing the people he thought needed it. But a part of him does feel guilty of what he did, the inner child portion of him. But his brain also gives him a reasoning for what he did and basically reassures him that what he did is justified. 

Now the next question, why did he try to recruit Zihao then? 

Due to that portion of him that does feel guilty, he still wants to be friends in a sense. He yearns for the affection that Zihao once gave him. He doesn't necessarily want Zihao himself, but the feeling of being loved. Which is why Zihao appeared loving in that one scene with the tree, it was mostly in Dabi's perspective. That section was heavily romanticized for the point of showing the calmer side of Touya's reasoning. And how he sees Zihao. If you re-read it you'll see how Zihao is described as beautiful or lovely, unlike in the other chapters when he is just normal

If you need a reference or example of this, think of how in 'Attack On Titan' Mikasa is illustrated prettier when she's shown from Eren's perspective.

I didn't want Dabi to be portrayed as a bad guy with no moral compass, but instead seen as a broken child who yearns for the love of anyone who can give it to him. Not saying what he did is right, but there is a bigger meaning behind it.

So, when he asks Zihao if he hates his father, he wants to see Zihao's perspective. He is looking for a reason to justify his actions by looking at someone else with issues and comparing their response to his. But he quickly realizes the two will never think the same, leading me to writing about how Dabi constantly thinks about how he won't ever be like Zihao. Because their reasoning are just too different.

I felt like writing this would help act two make more sense since I can't really read alongside you and explain my reasoning to you, if that makes sense. But yeah, perhaps this was just an excuse to write an essay about my own book.