Poetry of Death

Be enough. By M.E

You hurt me,
not by telling me I'm worthless and stupid and I'm going to get nowhere.
It's because you tell yourself you deserve to die, you tell yourself you're worthless and stupid and you'll never make it. 
Don't you get that?
You tell yourself you're selfish and you only think of yourself, 
and I say it's not true, 
but maybe inside I agree with you.
You're not the only one who hurts because of how you feel.

I should be thinking of you, 
I should be trying to save you,
I should be pulling you out of that dark abyss you've built yourself.
But who's gonna save me? 
Who's gonna tell me I'm not doing this in vain? 
Who's going to remember I'm trying?

I know you do. 
But there are times when you don't. 
And that's just selfish of me,
you're struggling too.
But I just can't. 
I just can't breathe. 
Voices in my brain tell me I can never help you, because I'm not enough,
I'm not good enough, strong enough, smart enough.
But I have to try. 
I could never live without you. 

You cut, you think of dying, you think of pain.
I watch, I try, but I can't help you. 
I don't know how. 
I'm sorry, 
I can't do it. 
Your darkness is too much for me when I have my own. 
But still I try.

It's cold. I'm cold. 
You show me pictures of your window,
and I know what's going through your brain.
It chills me to the bone.
I don't get cold easily
but you make me freeze so effortlessly.

I'm scared, I'm so scared for you, for me.
What am I going to do if you give up?
What could I do?

Tears come to my eyes
and they're useless. 
Crying can't solve any problems yet I still cry,
I cry, I cry,
I'm drowning in my tears. 
I'm drowning in you. 

I'm never going to be enough. 
I can never do enough for you. 
You're wonderful,
you deserve the world, not me.
I just make you feel worse when I tell you,
when I show you I'm human too.
But what else can I do?
I don't want to lie to you. 
I don't want to hurt you. 
I'm stuck in this place and
soon I'll be alright for a while,
but not for now.
I can't get better, I wish I could. 

If only my sunshine could save you from your storms.
But it's too weak, I'm too weak.
You're the only one who can save yourself. 
I'm trying to help you realize
you aren't useless,
you aren't stupid,
you aren't a coward,
you aren't a bastard,
you aren't worthless.
Please believe me, I know I lie, I know sometimes I lie to you,
but this time it's true. 
What I feel for you is true.

Someday I'll be enough.