Tattoos Together || Larry Stylinson

Chapter 31

I doubted my decision not to go to school anymore. Mark had given me the opportunity. He thought that I should spend what time I had left doing things I wanted to do. And school wouldn't have done me any good either, since I no longer had any prospects of getting a degree and it would not have had any relevance for my future.

-What future even?

I thought it would be a good idea, instead I was bored all morning and longed for Harry to return.

Although Anne tolerated her son moving in with us until the trip, she also insisted that he go to school regularly. I understood her. Harry would need it later, even if he wanted to throw everything away at the moment.

-

I looked longingly out of the kitchen window at the street, where the rain was gathering in a small river and didn't seem to be draining any time soon. It was too much. And it didn't stop, the masses of water kept falling and falling and falling...

My right cheek was pressed against the window pane, my mouth was open and probably, due to the slight cold I was carrying around with me, I was snoring softly when he found me.

"I'm back, love." He whispered and I was just too tired to open my eyes. Tired. I was tired. The medications made me tired. Life had made me tired. Life, life with the certainty that it ended. The end with all its uncertainty. It exhausted me to think because hadn't I spent enough time thinking? Didn't I deserve something else?

And again, I thought. I wished my brain would fall apart, just so I could stop thinking.

"Honey, I'm sorry I'm so late today. I was in town with Gigi and Zayn for a short time and then at my mum's. I should giveyou a big hug from her." His arms wrapped themselves around my upper body like a pleasantly warm blanket and he gently pulled me away from the window. Reluctantly I opened my eyes and saw nothing but auburn curly hair. My body lay stunned in his embrace, my confused thoughts distributed in the room, crushed by the silence and the calm that emanated from him. "No good day today?" Harry whispered with a hoarse voice and I was sure that I heard something like fear in the way he talked to me. But it was nothing new to me. Over time, I got used to this fear, even if I found it difficult to accept. I didn't want him to have to worry about me. Harry knew as well as I did how much longer we had, and with every second that passed, the aching fear in his voice, in his entire demeanour, intensified.

"I'm just tired. So damn tired I..." My voice trailed off, ending in a choked croak.

"Is it your new medication? Mark upped the dose, maybe your body needs to get used to it. How about an afternoon in bed? I can read you my personal favourite passages from 'Driving Miss Daisy.' Then you can definitely fall asleep."

"Do I hear criticism of your teacher's choice of reading material?"

"Woah, I'm relieved as hell! If it wasn't a comment like that, I would have been really worried about you."

"Don't be, Hazzie." "C'mon, I'll carry you upstairs." Harry offered and placed his hands on my lower back, waiting for me to cling to his body like a koala bear.

"Nah, I'm too heavy. Don't want you to break your back."

"Weight is just a number." He replied, clearly proud of his answer, which made me grin.

"Firstly, thank you, very charming Harold, I was expecting a compliment on my good physical condition and secondly... I'm pretty sure the quote actually refers to age."

He rolled his eyes, finally picked me up himself and walked up the stairs to the upper hall, which worked, more or less, surprisingly well given the fact that I was quite a bit shorter.