City of Dreams

2.

How we see others is a direct reflection of how we see ourselves. If others bring to mind mostly fear and blame, it means there is too much fear and blame welled inside us. If we see others as full of love and compassion, so are we.

Shehnaaz' s Delhi trip was metamorphic. Seated on the flight to Mumbai she was reminiscing about the happenings when she landed in Delhi from Kailash trip, with a glowing smile in her face. Baaz was there to pick her up from the airport to the Hotel where she booked a room to meet her mom and brother. Though she desperately wished to go home and meet her father, hug him, forgive him, and ask forgiveness for her conduct! Life doesn't go as we wish... but that day it did work for her. Sometimes the implications of precognition are profound!

Baaz drove the car on the road to her home, when asked he diverted the topic to his nonsensical chats. When she pushed him to answer he just replied that their father was not home, and that Dadi and Dada also wanted to meet her. She believed him and was excited to go back to her genesis, her place of happiness, to her mother and grandparents, to see them once more, to see her home once more!

She was welcomed with open arms by them. She anticipated and wished her father was there as well. She relished the food her mom gave her, and she told everything about her Kailash trip, her meet with Sidharth and family, she showed the pictures she took, and everyone was excited to listen and see her lively talks which included her animatic actions and facial gestures. She took them with her to Kailash and Lake Mansarovar and its mystical lights.

She didn't realize it was already late evening and her father's car came inside the porch in front of their house. Everyone's focus shifted to the noise, and they realized Shehnaaz' s presence might again trigger unwanted chaos in the house, but unfortunately it was late, and he was already entering inside the living room.

He stilled seeing his daughter, it was a surprise for him. No one told him about her visit to him. Since last few days all his family members were behaving like a stranger to him, showing their anger towards him for behaving crudely with Shehnaaz. Even his mom who always supported him did not talk to him or pampered him like how she used to. He can see Shehnaaz eyes welled up seeing him, she did not look pale or defensive today compared to what he received since last three years.

"Papa" Shehnaaz ran and jumped towards her father hugging him tight without any inhibitions, any fear, any restrictions, any complains. She wanted her father back in her life! The one who always pampered her, loved her, supported her, guided her... The one who she kept distance with after Karan's demise, avenging for his father's deed. She knew it was childish, but she was emotionally drained then and later she did not know how to patch this wound they created for each other. The strain, turning sour each day.

She recalled what Sidharth told him in the trip, "Forgive your dad Shehnaaz, I don't have one with me and I know the pain believe me, it feels like your life has fallen apart and you are caught up in a whirlwind, but you do eventually get your feet back on the ground, but the pain doesn't go away, you just learn how to accept it, channel it and use it as a way of cherishing the person who was so cruelly taken from you. He is there with you, alive and breathing, so cherish his presence; Forgiveness doesn't excuse his actions, but it stops his actions from destroying your heart. Someday we will forget the hurt, the reason we cried and who caused us the pain. We will finally realize that the secret of being free is not revenge or running away from the situation or person, but letting things unfold in their own way and own time. After all what matters is not the first, but the last chapter of our life which shows how well we ran the race."

"Mera puttar" keeping his feet steady as he grabbed his daughter tight in his arms. He had been waiting for this day when Shehnaaz, his beloved daughter, his first born, his favorite, sweet affectionate child would come back to him the way she used to! Since that disastrous fateful day, she kept a distance from him. In the same house she kept an emotional distance from him, a sudden cloud of distance, brooding and sullen behavior. He always wondered why she was desperate to be far away from him.