Secret Elation | Brian May x Reader

32.

It was March first. Your birthday. You had gotten a total of eighteen hours of sleep over the eight day period since Audrey's wedding. Your thoughts of Brian wouldn't stop, and they kept you up. Every night started with you trying to go to bed and ended with you crying, angrily punching your pillow, or silently screaming in confusion about what you were with Brian. For the life of you, you couldn't figure out you and Brian's current situation. Not to mention, how attached you were to him and not knowing if he felt the same was draining.

You didn't want to feel like this. Not at all. If you could control your feelings, Brian would genuinely be the last person you felt this way for. You would like this one man you met at the library or something. Not Brian. You were convinced he didn't think of you as anything other than his good friend's younger sister, and you wished you could be okay with that. You wished you didn't like him, that you didn't want him, that you didn't crave him. But you did.

And you hated that.

Being up all night, you didn't have to wake up. You had a late night being out with the band last night anyway, so even if you did sleep, you would've gotten like five hours. One of the things that was hard about your feelings with Brian, was how they wouldn't go away. You saw each other every other day, so it's not like you could get over him.

Anyway, you were on your way with John to your mother's house for breakfast. These plans were made a few days ago, but you didn't think you'd be so tired you felt dead. Your exhaustion showed on your face. Pigmentation was low, your eye bags were very visible- you kind of looked like a Tim Burton character. You had leg warmers over your tights, matching perfectly with your delicate pearl necklace and light pink sweater. You weren't dressed like you, but you still were dressed well.

"I can't believe you're nineteen." John exclaimed, after taking a puff from a cigarette he was smoking. "I feel so old."

You let out a chuckle. "I can't believe it either."

"Just yesterday, I was helping you with your school work and now I'm watching you get shit-faced." He joked.

You scoffed. "You're the one who kept ordering the straight vodka last night."

"That- that is invalid."

"And the fact that you made me pay for them is even more ridiculous. You better have gotten me a good birthday present."

He kept quiet for a moment. "Check underneath your seat."

"What?"

He didn't respond, so you did what you were told. Curiously, you slowly reached for underneath your seat.

"Is it a prickly bomb?"

"No."

"Are you lying?"

"No."

"What if it's a puffer fish. And when I touch it
it hurts me-"

"Y/n, would you just get the box from under your seat?"

You fought a laugh as you stopped stalling and grabbed the cardboard box from under your seat. It was a plain brown box, so you really had no idea what could be inside it. You almost wanted to shake it to find out what it was, but maybe something fragile was in there. So, you just opened it.

"Oh....a perfume." You had like fifteen already. "Thanks, Deaks."

"Smell it."

You put a spritz on your wrist. "Oh my god." You smiled, once your present was revealed. It was a perfume you smelled once years ago. Thirteen year old you had tagged along with your older brother when he went out to a store, and you smelled this one perfume sample that you utterly adored. You didn't shut up about for the next month. "How did you even-" this boggled your mind. "They only sell this stuff in Paris now."