Some Dog Man Randomness

Incorrect Quotes #2

Chief: Time for plan G.
Petey: Don't you mean plan B?
Chief: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.
Sarah: What about plan D?
Chief: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.
Li'l Petey: What about plan E?
Chief: I'm hoping not to use it. Dog Man dies in plan E.
Petey: I like plan E.

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Dog Man: Can I have your number?
Petey, visible texting: I don't have a phone.

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Petey, to Chief: You're starting to forget your Spanish. You don't practice.
Chief: Lo siento. Estoy embarazada.
Petey: You just told me you're pregnant.
Sarah: Congratulations Chief, you're glowing!

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Petey: When I said bring me something back from the beach I meant like a conch shell!
Dog Man: *Struggling to hold a seagull* Say that next time!

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Petey: Wait a minute, how did this happen? We're smarter than this!
Yolay: Apparently, we're not.

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Chief: *gets a text* Oh! It's Petey.
Dog Man, excitedly: Did they get me the stuff?
Chief: Yeah, they say they got you the clown Halloween costume, the power drill, and 12 gallons of blood.
Dog Man: Wow! Where'd they find 12 gallons of fake blood?
Chief: You wanted fake blood?
Dog Man:
Chief: I'll go call Petey.

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Nurse Lady: Well, remember when Chief made a romantic dinner for me?
Petey: He microwaved you a pizza.

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Petey: I only have two emotions: exhaustion and stress. And I'm somehow always feeling both simultaneously.

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Petey's Mom: I trusted you!
Grampa: Why?

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Nurse Lady: I'm a nice person, but I'm about to start throwing rocks at people.

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Grampa: Someone care to explain why we have 6 dogs in our jail cell?
Big Jim: They're golden retrievers, Grampa. They retrieve gold. I did this for us.

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Dog Man: Can you pass the salt?
Petey: Can you pass away?
Dog Man: Too much salt.

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Yolay: Are oranges named orange because oranges are orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange?
Chief: Which came first, the orange or the orange?
Petey: Orange was first used to refer the fruit 1280 years ago but was not used as a color until 1000 years ago.
Nurse Lady: What was the color called before then?
Sarah: There was no color, duh! Everything was black and white!

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Dog Man: If I say I love you, will you say it back?
Petey: Yes.
Dog Man: I love you.
Petey: It back.
*Later*
Chief: Why is Dog Man crying face-down on the floor?

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Dog Man: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life.