Dear Diary || Jikook ||

Dear Diary 2

Dear Diary

Never would I have thought that I would be writing in a book to record what goes on in my life. Ever.

But I think I would have to do this because this is what my psychiatrist recommended me to do. In order for me to process things that are happening around me and in my life. As I do not have friends, and my only family is my loving husband and the love of my life which is my son, I can't share my issue with anyone else even if I wanted to. But, my husband does not know that I'm suffering from depression and anxiety. Maybe because he is the cause of my mental suffering, and I don't blame him at all.

The session ended quite early today, this would be kinda like a homework that Dr. Min requested me to do, and I have to show this book to him, and he will evaluate me further.

So here goes...

I was orphaned at a very young age, but luckily a pair of loving couple adopted me and provided me with all the necessities that I need when I'm younger, they really treat me like I was one of them, however, they passed when I'm just about to get myself into college. When they passed, I really felt like I was being abandoned all over again, and I was so so so alone for quite some time until I met my now-husband, Jeon Jungkook.

I still vaguely remember, that the moment our eyes met each other, it was like lightning has struck. He actually saved me from being bullied by some bullies, at that time, I was eighteen a junior, and he was twenty-three a senior. He carried me bridal styled, and I felt safe, safer than I have ever felt. And it was at that moment he whispered don't worry Minnie, I will not anyone hurt you anymore.

We were together since then, and when I graduated, we got married, and our son is now two.

Throughout the years, my husband was loving, caring, funny, family-oriented, and all of that good stuff. He would work so hard, just so that I could stay home, and make sure everything at home is taken care of, and he has one less thing to worry about.

Until quite recently...

Whenever I tried to show my affection to him, although he won't reject me, the feeling is not there. It was as if, he was a walking dead person. I don't see the caring and loving side of him when I'm looking in his eye.

He doesn't know that it breaks my heart a little, but it does.

I tried asking around, but it was not anything related to his work, in fact, the company is doing really well.

As much as I wanted to ask him, but I can't.

He came back the same last night, cold, emotionless. Even when Jeon Min tried to play with his dada, he would just brush it off and left our son. Although our baby, is just two, but I can tell that he misses his dada as much as I.

Soon after dinner, I tucked in my baby, and I went into bed. The usual whisper of sweet nothings or peppering of kisses is just replaced by a cold Good Night Love. Again, my heart broke for a little bit more.

He used to cuddle with me, and I would be sleeping in his embrace, but it was changed as well. It was as if, strangers sharing a bed for now.

Somewhere between the late hours, his phone rang. But I guess he was too tired, so I took a look.

My heart breaks even more when the screen is showing the caller's id and the caller's photo was a very intimate photo of my husband and a lady that I have never met. I answered, and the first thing I heard was...

Are you sleeping with that useless man when you can sleep with me and make all the love you can?

I went out of the room and sat outside on the balcony. Pictures, memories flashed across in my mind as I closed my eyes, letting out a silent cry.

Though you might not see this, but... Kookie-ah, if you want an out from this, you can just ask. You know when you ask, I will agree... As long as you are happy, I will be happy for you, and I will love you from wherever I am.

No one would love you as much as I do, my love.

PS: Dr. Min, here you go... Day - 1

PJM

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Author's Notes :

As I have mentioned, supportive characters would only be mentioned in the specific chapter. 
In this chapter, Dr. Min is Suga, and he is only Jimin's psychiatrist. He won't be in most of the chapters, but he would be here and there in some chapters. 


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