Dear Diary || Jikook ||

Dear Diary 8

Author's Narrative :

One year had passed since Jimin wrote in this book. He left the same week. He had packed up all of his stuff, left a letter to Jungkook, asking his husband to take good care of their boy, and to tell him not to find him, because he can and could never be found.

No, he is still alive, if you have that in your mind, and he is well taken care of by an extremely friendly nurse, that Jimin knew from the chemotherapy. He's like Jimin's long-lost soulmate, and that person vowed to tend to Jimin's every need for as long as he is needed.

However, while packing, Jimin left this diary accidentally, and because he had left the keys as well, he can't get it back. Though, in his mind, he was low-key hoping that his husband would come across this little book, and could take a glimpse of what really went on. Yes, Jungkook still has no idea that his husband is suffering from leukemia, up until now or whenever he read his husband's diary.

Now, here we go...

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Dear Diary,

Jimin-ah, apart from saying that I'm really sorry, I don't know what else that I can say or do to undo all those fucked-up things that I have done! The day you left, and I came home to an empty house, it just felt empty.

Jimin-ah, why? Why do you have to keep everything to yourself? Why are something this big that is happening to you and you choose to keep it from me? I know I'm fucked-up and the things that I have done are all fucked-up, but I've never thought of divorcing you or leaving you. Never, and I never will!

Yes, I admit that I'm seeing that girl for a bit. Yes, the things that I have done are so damned fucked-up, and there is not a single day that has passed that I don't regret it myself.

Jimin-ah, ever since the day we met, you are the only one that I wanted to keep, love, and protect with all that I can. I never stop loving you, but when the girl came, I was feeling different. The feeling when I'm with her felt like everything is exciting and enticing. But, I have to be very clear, I've never done anything that involves intimacy. I can't. Because even when I'm with her, my mind thinks of you. Each and every single time.

I don't even know why am I writing in your book, but here's to hoping that you will come back to me.

That day I saw you following me to the apartment Jimin-ah. I saw how you ran away when I walked back into the restaurant, and I saw how you let yourself be soaked by the rain. As much as I wanted to run to you and pull you into a hug, I can't. It's like the time between you and me stopped. The guilt in the pit of my stomach is gut-wrenching.

I saw how you were already unwell, and yet, you chose to not show that to me. I saw how your eyes are screaming that you are in pain, and yet, my guilt is eating me from the inside. I don't know what I can do to undo that. That is why I'm being distant. Not because I'm not in love with you, I am. But it was just that one fucked-up moment in my life, I've suddenly lost the confidence.

That night when I asked you to pick up that call for me, was selfish, because I know that's the only way I could get past that incident, and since that day, I've made sure that I change, making sure that I'm doing whatever that needs to be done in order to not further hurt you.

I know, I'm a selfish bastard. You were hurting and sick, and yet I'm having a fucked-up affair. I would have die, if you want me to Jimin-ah. If that's the cost of your forgiveness, I would do it.

My Jimin, how can you keep all this to yourself? Just why?

Please come back to me and tell me what can I do to make it up to you? Please?

Or at least let me know that you are fine? I can't live without you Jimin-ah. I know I'm a complete moron, but I can't live without you and I don't want to live without you.

Please just come back? Please? I will do whatever it takes to make you feel better, and I will use every second, every minute of every day to show you and to prove to you, I've changed, and the only one that matters to me is you.

I will continue writing in this book, letting you know how much I've missed you.

Jimin-ah, when you come back, I don't care how long would that be, I'm never letting you go.

I'm sorry.

JJK - Day 1

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Author's Notes : 

What do you guys think?I've decided to somehow make Jimin come back stronger. Take a guess, who is the nurse?

The next few chapters would be all from Jungkook's perspective. 
Time for him to suffer a little while waiting for his love, don't you guys think?

As usual, Comment, Share, and Vote!

XOXO