Dear Diary || Jikook ||

Dear Diary 3

Dear Diary

I think by this time, I'll just have to address you in my diary now Dr. Min.

Start from where I left off yesterday I think...

As I sat there on the balcony, and as the memories flashed so as my tears. I came to realize that if my marriage is over, I would only probably be heartbroken for just a little while. Don't get me wrong, if anyone were to ask me if I love my husband or not, the only answer will be yes, that will never change.

But, as I have mentioned, I understand that people would want an out from a relationship from time to time, and that is totally understandable. At least that's what I think. Honestly, I didn't think that my husband would want to have a straight relationship, I've never imagined that would ever happen, like ever.

Kookie-ah, I know you might be hurting inside, and I'm also assuming that you are finding it hard and confusing that you have to be with me, and at the same time you are in love with someone else. If you were to ask me, I will really agree to whatever your request is. I've been selfish all these years, and you really outdid yourself by providing the best for me and our baby. If you think that your happiness belongs elsewhere and not with me, go... Chase after it. I won't hinder you from it. You know there's a saying right... You don't have to be with the person you love, as you can love them from afar. I can do that, and be happy for you. I really do.

As the morning, came... you woke and back hugged me. That's the first time in a while you have been showing me affection, and as you were saying that you love me and miss me, I can no longer decipher if what you were saying is true or that you were guilty... Again, my tears flowed silently, unnoticed. I replied as cheerful as I could, asking you to get ready as I prepare your breakfast for you. I no longer feel the warmness in your embrace anymore my love. Maybe someone else felt it more than I could.

The smell of pancake and freshly brewed coffee is your favorite. It was a fine Saturday though.

Little Minnie woke a little earlier than he was supposed to, and I asked if you wanted to take us out for a family time, however, your reply broke my heart. I knew you don't have to work. But I decided to blind myself by not pestering you with questions upon questions. I knew you were going to that lady, I knew... but the moment i saw your eyes flashed with a glimpse of happiness, I knew I had to let you do the things you want.

Dr. Min, you know how they say curiosity kills a cat? Yeah, that's true. I silently followed my husband as he drove to the apartment complex where the lady lives.

She was my husband's type I guess. Model-esque looking, slim enough to be on every possible body product ads, healthy-looking flowy black hair.

Seeing that my husband peppered kisses upon kisses on her face, and being guided to my seat in my husband's car. I swear, if one could hear what a heartbreak could sound like, you would have heard mine.

They went to my favorite Japanese restaurant. As I saw my husband walks away, I got closer, because I was really curious, what in that lady could have attracted my husband that I do not have.

Someone next to their table dropped something, and she bent down to help them pick the thing up. At that moment as our eyes met, I finally knew... She was everything I used to be, before giving birth.

Dr. Min, she was pretty, angelic-looking, I swear she kinda had my eye features. Not gonna lie, she could be the female version of me. But way, way, way, better...

I ran out of the restaurant as quickly as I could. As she knew who I am.

A million questions ran in my mind, like why would my husband want a female version of me? Am I not enough? Did I get ugly? Am I not a good wife? Did I do anything wrong? But the main question was is my husband happy with her?

As I took a glance into the restaurant, my question was answered.

I have never seen my husband laugh and smile so happily in a long time. He is happy with her, the aura exuding from both of them, is what we had a long time ago.

I walked away, and maybe the gods knew how sad I was, it started to drizzle.

They say if you are sad and wanted to cry, do it while raining, as the raindrops can be disguised as tears.

I cried for god knows how long. I came home soaking wet, and our nanny was quick to wrap me with towels. Though Jeon Min was so young, I swear my baby is an angel. He came over and cupped my face with the little hands that he had. You are all that appa had now Jeon Min-ah... I said that as tears flowed again.

Jeon Min-ah, do you want to make Kookie appa happy? I asked. He's too young, but I can tell he understands, as he pointed the background photo in my phone and nuzzled his nose onto my husband.

Kookie-ah, I'm ready... Ready to let you go... Just ask :)

There you go Dr. Min... Day - 2

PJM

***************

Author's Notes :I know, that it is really heartbreaking, but I mentioned that this book would break hearts.So please bear with me, as I will slowly alter the course of this story and hopefully give it a happy ending. 

As usual, leave me your Comments, and please please please Vote? Share it out if you can please? 

XOXO