Natasha Romanoff one shots :)

Red (*)

A/N: Got this request from Neaismyname , I hope this is somewhat what you wished for? I tried my best, and kind of like this one. ALSO GUYS OVER 20K INSAAAAANE. Thank you so much :). Xx

Age: early 29's
Word count: 1133
TW: slight surprise, trauma
Summary: y/n gets back from a mission, which affected her more than expected.
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'Hey... hey, are you okay?', my girlfriend Natasha asks me. I have just gotten back from my mission and it didn't go that well. Fortunately there were no lethal casualties but it really made an impact on everyone there.

There were a few children involved with serious injuries, and of course all the yelling was quite traumatizing on its own.

'Yeah, I'm fine.', I mumble, moving to the kitchen to get myself some water. Nat walks along worried, closely observing every move.

'Really, I'm fine.', I assure her once more after a few minutes of silence. She just hums, still not completely at ease.

When we move upstairs, so I can change, my hand searches for hers. Nat gives it a little squeeze, like she always does to show me her love.

Once inside, I pull Natasha towards me, planting my lips on hers. I feel her smile against me, as she slowly pushes me towards the bed.

'Honey are you sure?', she asks when I'm already busy with her zipper.

I just nod, peeling the fabric down her skin, leaving her in just her underwear.

She does the same to me before laying me down on the mattress. Her knees settle on both sides of my waist and her lips search for mine.

One of her hands moves up and down my side, sometimes teasing the skin under my thong.

My hands unhook her bra before they tangle in her curls. Her kisses move to my neck, slightly sucking on my weak spots.

Meanwhile her finger slipped under my panties, softly rubbing on my clit. Soft moans are leaving my mouth, which makes Nat smile against my skin.

Eventually, I feel her fingers slip into me, slowly pumping in and out.

Someone on the ground floor slams a door shut.

I hate how my body is reacting right now, but the slam sounds just like the shots we heard at the battlefield.

The feeling of someone hovering above me, trapping me is scaring me, although deep down I know it's Nat. I've got nowhere to go.

My eyes fill themselves with tears as my whole body tenses up and my moans turn into silent screams.

'Red...', I cry. The safe word leaves my mouth like some sort of reflex, and immediately, Nat stops her actions. Tears are rolling down my cheeks as I curl myself into a ball.

'Baby what's wrong?', Natasha asks worries, getting of me, laying down besides me, not daring to touch me.

'I... I'm sorry.', I mumble, covering myself with the blanket, staring at the sheets.

'Hey, hey... it's okay.', Nat tries to comfort me. 'Would it be okay if I hugged you?'.

I slowly nod while I try to restore my breath. She moves towards me, wrapping her arms around me securely. She lets me lay on top of her, my head in the crook of her neck.

One of her hands combs through my hair while the other softly rubs my back, the touch so light you can barely feel it.

Every now and then she wipes the tears of my face, planting a little kiss on the top of my head.

'Honey you wanna tell me what happened?', she asks carefully after some time has passed. 'Did I do something wrong?'.

I shake my head before taking a few deep breaths. 'No, you didn't. I think I uhm, got caught up in a memory.', I try to explain.

'You wanna tell me about it?'.

I swallow. 'I think it was like. The door sounded like the guns and I got scared and...', I start but I'm not able to finish my sentence without crying.

'Shh, shh, it's okay, you're safe.', Nat coo's, holding me a little tighter. 'I got you...'.

It takes me a few minutes to calm down again. I thought I was able to just shut down my emotions during missions, but turns out they do have quite an effect on me.

'I'm sorry...', I apologize, biting my lip to prevent me from crying all over again.

'You have nothing to be sorry for.', she assures me. 'If anything, you should blame me for not paying enough attention.'.

She seriously thinks she did something wrong.

'Nat really, it's not your fault. At all.', I protest, turning my head. She just slightly smiles.

She asks me a few more questions, some about the mission, and some about a completely different subject to distract me. The hand that's lacing through my hair feels comforting, so does her warm skin against mine.

'Baby?', Natasha asks after a little while.

I look up, meeting her still slightly worried green eyes.

'Would you be okay if we're gonna take a shower? I can join you if you would want that, but no pressure of course.'.

I think about it for a second, but then come to the realization that I have to get out of bed sometime.

'Yeah, I would like that.', I whisper. She lovingly smiles as she pushes herself up. 'Okay then...'.

Being careful not to hurt me, she peels the underwear of my skin before stepping into the hot shower with me. She immediately embraces me in a hug once we're in the cabin, holding me as close as possible. My head I against her chest, listening to her heartbeat.

Every now and then, a sound makes me jump up, but I'm glad to have Natasha by my side.

In the shower, she massages the shampoo in my hair before washing it out, not losing contact with me once. I see she's still worried, her eyes scan my face every few seconds, but that only shows me her affection.

I didn't know how much I needed this.

'I'm really proud of you, you know that?', Nat whispers once we've settled back in bed again. 'For being so brave to be this honest with me.'. She has me closely pulled next to her, one arm draped around my middle, the other drawing patterns on my side.

Red rushes towards my cheeks as the corners of my lips lift. 'I know it must have been hard for you to say the safe word, but I think it's so brave of you that you did.', she continues, placing featherlight kisses all over my face, leaving me a blushing mess.

I feel my eyes getting watery again, but this time it's because of a whole other reason.

'Hey, are you okay?', Nat asks worried the second she notices. I smile as I nod.

'These are happy tears.', I explain. 'Just, I realized how lucky I am to have you.'.

She pulls me a little closer against her, softly connecting my lips to hers, for a slow, loving kiss.

'I love you y/n.', she tells.

'I love you too.'.