Flourish - A Review Shop by TeamOfDreams - On Hiatus

When Worlds Crossed

Author's Name:

conquestofthesomnium

Reviewer:

YvonneKindle for Cover/Blurb

sky_is_limit for Hook and Plot

Review Type:

Cover/Blurb, Hook, and Plot Development

Cover Review:

First Impression Vibes: Mixed-race, young adult, het romance that is most likely a heat level 1 or 2 sweet romance

After Blurb Vibes: The cover seems to match the overall theme of the book, though, with some tweaking, it could match the storyline a little better.

The cover does a great job with font size, readability, and overall clarity of design that seems to match the theme of the genre. The choice of black and white is stark. I wonder what might happen if colors other than black and white were chosen? Maybe red for the guy and lavender for the girl? Or blue and pink? Or, instead of plain black for the guy, what about a space photo since he's an alien.

Overall, I would rate this cover as an 8 out of 10: I find it interesting enough to study, but I think it could be tweaked to be a little better.

Blurb Review:

I like the opening line and the fact that the blurb introduces the characters properly. But, it doesn't quite deliver on establishing the conflict. Stating they have enemies isn't enough... I want to know who or what they're fighting so that the stakes are clear. It does state to the reader why the book is for them in order to better entice the target audience. I'm not convinced that it uses genre keywords effectively, however; I suggest finding a few books on Amazon that are doing well in this genre and picking them out to use here. Overall, I would rate this blurb as an 8 out of 10: I find it somewhat interesting, but I'm not sure I'd read the book with it as it is. It's got potential, though!

Hook Review:

Let's start with the title. I do think it is a little basic because I have seen it multiple times before. It's not overly unique, but, even if the title has been used before (in a variation of that), it's still an eye-catching title. For readers who enjoy two main characters who should have essentially nothing to do with each other, I feel it's still a title that will draw people in.

Okay, after reading chapters one and two, I have to say I am hooked. The first chapter left me wanting more initially because I felt the introduction to the main character was very well done. The fact that Armacres just appeared there was such a unique twist in my opinion. Though, I don't read many fantasy novels, so I'm not sure if this is the norm. But I thought it was a very well done hook. Following into chapter two, though the second was a bit longer, I didn't find myself growing bored. You did great to keep it engaging.

If I had to rank the hook, I myself would truly give it a 10/10. That's coming from someone who doesn't normally frequent fantasy novels.

Plot Development Review:

First, I want to talk about the glossary page before reading. It's a short list of phrases, which shouldn't be much for readers to remember. These are my thoughts before reading though; always keep in mind that a lot of readers will skip the glossary. So, if you don't do it already, I do recommend reiterating in the actual writing of the story what those terms mean. I'll also share my thoughts after completing the chapters needed.

After reading on, I want to applaud you for also teaching us Cres' terms in your writing as well. Though they were only mentioned once, I feel like it was good because it'll allow people to remember better.

By now, I'm on chapter nine. In regards to the plot, I have to say, I feel like it took an extremely slow turn. The chapters feel more like filler than actual plot. While I know the story is just building, I keep wondering things like "why is Cres not trying to find a way home?" or "is he not worried about what happened to him?" I feel like it's just a little far fetched that both Cres and Adie wouldn't continue to pursue info regarding what happened to him. Instead, they were kind of just chilling. That's a bit of a plot hole. It's fine to build the story, but keep in mind that when an event happens, such as a random guy appearing, the characters can't just suddenly act like everything is normal. Things like Adie buying him 1k worth of clothes when she knows she has groceries, etc. That all felt like unnecessary happenings.

With that being said, I read up until chapter ten to get a gist of the plot and see how things fared. We're just coming up on the action at the end of nine. Before, I repeatedly kept wondering when the story would actually take off. That has to do with what I mentioned before about a lot of the chapters feeling like filler. I found myself skimming over a lot of the dialogue because there was just so much that didn't feel like a good flow for the story.

Don't get me wrong, I think your story is unique and has the chops to be very good. Perhaps if I continued to read, I'd see more of the plot and find myself loving it. But the first few chapters just don't feel cohesive in my honest opinion. There's a clear stalemate. A lot of the things Adie went through felt rather abrupt, like it was thrust at us to provide more reasons why she may want to go off with Cres at some point.

So, if I had to rate it, I'd say 5/10. Though I could be wrong in my thoughts and opinions, but maybe consider what I said. I do feel like if I was reading this freely and without having to look at technical things, I'd enjoy it. I would probably briefly wonder about the things I mentioned because as someone who also writes, those are just things I tend to look at. If you need any more clarity on my thoughts, please feel free to reach out.