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Flourish is a review shop created by TeamOfDeams to provide writers an honest critique of their writing. Our goal is to uplift writers and assist in taking their creations to the next level thr...
First chapter, you start off great! Your use of metaphors to describe the character's feelings and emotions is so impressive. I loved reading it. It gave me a huge insight in her thinking, and how she felt, which brings a reader next to the character and into the story. I'm used to long chapters, so this one felt short for me (nothing to you, just my general reading), but you put in everything important! Also, you ended well with making a drastic change in her life and how she feels about that. As a reader you can really feel how alone this main character feels. The second chapter in the hospital is written well too! The book carries some heavy subject and as a reader you can feel that really well. I love the diversity you created there, and how you introduced each character. This story starts off with a great start, and for the reader it's easy to get into it and start following the story line. You feel along with the main character and already hope life will get better for her after everything she went through. You make all the conversations seem realistic, and also everything that happens in the hospital feels so natural. Good job! I feel like this story will be more character driven, than plot driven, and if that turns out to be it, you already make a great start here by introducing the main character in a strong way. It's a great start!
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