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Flourish is a review shop created by TeamOfDeams to provide writers an honest critique of their writing. Our goal is to uplift writers and assist in taking their creations to the next level thr...
Let's start with your title. Does it draw me in? Yes. Before reading the blurb or the actual story, I'm getting crazy plot vibes from it. By that, I mean that I feel us readers are about to be in for a pleasant surprise and a really interesting story. The title draws me in because it genuinely seems like an interesting read.
I'm pleasantly surprised. Going into a review, you don't know what to expect. I'm genuinely happy with what I just read. But let's start with chapter one. Now, I skimmed the blurb as I did want to hurry and get into the chapters. So, already, there was an unexpected twist. Upon reading, we find that Aster has somewhat lost her dream (purposely being vague to not spoil). I was so surprised by that and I genuinely felt awful for her.
Chapter one does a splendid job in conveying the emotions between each character we're introduced to. Upon finding out that her family is dealing with a death, I felt Aster's feelings of hope and despair in dealing with that plus more. Not only that, but I very much disliked the stepmonster and evil step sister who were introduced.
Furthermore, our first taste of the supernatural felt... natural. It didn't come randomly but was fed to us at the right time. Chapter one was splendid. I think the only "issue" I found was the song placed in the middle of the chapter. I personally think it only breaks the flow of the chapter. That's me personally, though.
Now onto the second chapter. The follow up was done nicely. A lot of the time, chapter two can feel like a filler because we're thrown the hook in one and then we get to more story building. But that's not the case here. You've done so well in drawing us in with chapter one then giving us a bang in chapter two. It's clear to see where the story really starts. I also find the premise interesting because it's connecting something from Aster's past and bringing it up again as she's older. Basically, a myth or story is coming alive right in front of her. It makes you want to learn more about why she was chosen and maybe if it also relates to her mother.
Usually with chapters on the longer side, it's hard to keep up mobily, but each minute I read left me wanting more. Everything is just so well-written. If I had to rate your hook, a perfect 10/10 is what it deserves. Honestly, very well done.
I very much hope you'll come back to us for another review in the near future!
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